Marrying Someone Twice Of Age

Haunting Photos Of A 15-Year-Old Forced To Marry A Man Twice Her Age

Refinery29 7 hours ago 

• Comments
 
• Sign in to like
 
• Reblog on Tumblr
 
• Share
 
• Tweet
 
• Email

Photojournalist Allison Joyce was on assignment for Getty Images in her home of Bangladesh last summer when she passed a huge wedding tent being set up alongside the road. Curious what was going on, she asked a passerby who told her the wedding was set for the next day, and thousands of guests had been invited. But the detail that struck Joyce was the fact that the bride was only in the sixth grade. The next day, Nasoin Akhter would be married off to a man twice her age. Joyce returned the next morning with her camera, and was welcomed into the ceremony.
"Photographing her wedding was obviously sad," Joyce told Refinery29 of Akhter's big day. "She didn't seem like she was under any misconceptions about what was happening to her. She was quiet and withdrawn the entire day, even when surrounded by her friends." "In a lot of ways, it felt familiar, like the weddings I attended in the U.S.: Guests were dressed to the nines; happy couples mingled around; children were dancing in the streets to pop music. Everyone was celebrating this forced marriage of a 15-year-old girl to a 32-year-old man. To most of them, the sight wasn't an unusual one," Joyce said. "Most of the women in these communities are also married around the same age or younger." Although child marriage was officially outlawed there in 1929, Bangladesh has one of the highest rates in the world. An estimated 65% of girls are married before the age of 18. Of those, 29% are married before the age of 15, according to UNICEF. And while Bangladesh's female prime minister pledged to end child marriage by 2041, many are concerned by proposals to lower the official age from 18 to 16 in "special circumstances." (It's worth noting that, in some states, Americans can get married before the age of 18 with parental consent.)
Child marriage is incredibly harmful for girls — threatening both their health and education. Most young brides must drop out of school after their wedding, and many suffer violence and sexual abuse at the hands of their often much-older husbands. Early pregnancy puts girls at a higher risk for complications and death during childbirth, according to nonprofitGirls Not Brides.
By documenting Nasoin's wedding, Joyce hopes to raise awareness and push for change."Photography is a universal language and an incredibly powerful tool to affect change. It's one thing to read the statistics and know that things like child marriage are happening somewhere in the world, but seeing the frightened face of a child on her wedding day, personally that's what moves me, and I think most people, the most," Joyce said. Ahead, Joyce shares her powerful photographs with Refinery29. 
Editor's note: Captions were provided by Joyce and have been edited for length and clarity. 

On her wedding day, August 20, 2015, 15-year-old Nasoin looks out of a dressing room at a beauty parlour in Manikganj, Bangladesh.

Nasoin stands in the doorway of a neighbour's home on the day of her wedding. While poverty is often the reason families marry off their girls, Joyce said she was surprised that
"[the bride's] father is a very wealthy man, with multiple two-story houses. Hundreds of chickens and cows were slaughtered for the wedding dinner, and thousands of guests were invited."

Nasoin is bathed on her wedding day.

Nasoin has her makeup done before her wedding ceremony.

Nasoin poses for a photo after her makeup is done.

Nasoin has her wedding sari wrapped around her.

Nasoin sits with relatives while posing for photos on her wedding day.

She is consoled by a friend.

She poses for video of her wedding day.

The groom, 32-year-old Mohammad Hasamur Rahman, arrives to the wedding venue on the day that he will marry 15-year-old Nasoin.

Mohammad poses for photographs with his new bride.

Rahman stands on a bed above his young bride.

Wedding guests dance and celebrate at Mohammad and Nasoin's wedding.

After the wedding, Nasoin is led by relatives to a car that will take her to her new home.

For more information on how to help end child marriage around the world, visit nonprofit organisations Girls Not Brides and Too Young To Wed

Family Canteen
Veianet Online Store
Love Crisis
Fanbox Experience

Meet Your Mate

Meet Your Mate

MEET YOUR MATE

In the dating pool, there are tons of places to meet people, but where would you go to meet your ideal mate? Now that is the million dollar question…

You must first know what you are looking for in your ideal mate. Doe he/she have to be intelligent, good looking, fun, spontaneous? You must obviously need to have an idea of the type of person you are looking for before you can even go out there and start searching.

Once you have listed all the traits you are looking for, this is when you begin narrowing the search...

Fun Loving Party Animal    

Are you looking for the fun loving mate who is the life of the party? The obvious place is a bar or club. There you will find him/her out on the dance floor getting their groove on or surrounded by people with a drink in their hand. This person is the social butterfly, the magnet that attracts people of all types to them. There is always someone waiting in the wings vying for their attention. To attract this person, you must also be fun loving and very secure with yourself. You must do something to catch their attention in some way.

The Intelligent Braniac

If your ideal mate is someone who is highly intelligent, you might focus on going to the library, attending an event where there is sure to be intelligent specimens, or joining a group that involves philosophical or intelligent discussions. Although the library will carry all types, you will need to zero in on the studious book worm studying in some desolate corner. You could also research where all the medical conferences will be held at, pass through the event, and you might just happen to run into a doctor or nurse. Or you could join a book club or an investment club where people meet to discuss books and financial strategy. Whatever field your mate may be in, you will need to target or plan out your strategy if you are truly serious about finding him/her.  The point is, you need to be proactive and be very specific about the type of person you are looking for.

The Athlete

If you are looking for the athletic type, you should attend a sporting event or hang out at a local sports bar when you know a game is going to be on. This section pertains mainly to women, but men might want to date someone who is athletic as well. If you’re looking for someone who swims, plays golf, plays volleyball, or surfs, you just have to situate yourself in the places where your ideal mate might be found. For instance, a swimmer or surfer will obviously be hanging out at the beach or maybe the local pool/YMCA. A golfer will be at the golf course putting away or at the driving range practicing their swing. A volleyball player might also be at the beach or playing in an indoor gym. I think you get the point…if you want action, go to where the action is.

The Sweet and Caring Nurturer

If you want to find a mate who is sweet, kind, and nurturing, you will usually find this type of person volunteering their time at a hospital, homeless shelter, or at any worthy organization. This is the person who is selfless and puts other’s needs before their own. You will find this is the type of mate who you can always count on to be there. They are the types of people who want to improve and better the world by offering their time. The philanthropists are the “doers” of the world. They are generous with their time and often very dependable.

The Adventurer/Traveler

The adventurer/traveler is usually the free spirit, and therefore harder to track and even harder to “tame.” These types of individuals are usually more cultured and wise to the world because they have seen and experienced so many things from their travels. The adventurer type is fearless, and they will try almost anything. He/she loves the thrill of experiencing new cultures, traveling to distant places, and finding adventure in any situation. You should sign yourself up with a singles tour group or join an adventure or travel club. You will most likely find your ideal mate in these specific places because the adventurer/traveler type will not “settle down” with a person who does not share this interest. This type of person will not marry a person who is not just as adventurous because who wants to travel alone and leave their spouse at home? You could also join an internet community specific to travelers or adventure seekers. Again, the adventurer/traveler is a very specific type so if you want to attract this type of person into your life, you will need to be very specific.

These are just some of the different character types we might be looking for in a mate. The KEY to meeting your mate is being very specific as to what type of person you are looking for. Visualize the type of person you want to spend your life with. Hold this image in your mind and then take action. Take up on the different opportunities and resources that are currently offered and available to you, such as the internet. Join a new discussion group or sign up at a local club.  Go to the places you think your ideal mate would most likely show up. Attend events and meet new people. The point is, get yourself out there. You cannot expect to meet “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Right” sitting on your ass. Those of you who do not stop will eventually be rewarded and you will meet your mate.

By: Outside Source

Family
Veianet Online Store

The Qualities Of A Muslim Husband

I am not sure how a Muslim husband should be, but this is worth reading and applies to every husband, Muslim or not.

These Should  Be The Qualities Of A Muslim Husband

1. Make your wife feel safe, does not threaten her with divorce.

2. Give sincere salaams.

3. Treat it gently, as a weaker vessel.

4. Advise her in private with the fastest time in the best way and 'climate'.

5. Be generous with her.

6. Heat the seat for her, you will warm your heart.

7. Avoid anger, do wudhu at all times.

8. Is looking good and smelling to his wife.

9. Do not be rigid or hard-hearted to her.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Yes to cuddle. Not for discussion.

12. Call your wife with the best names, nicknames, she will like to hear.

13. Take a pleasant surprise.

14. Preserve and protect the language.

15. Wait, accept and ignore its flaws.

16. Give sincere compliments.

17. Encourage her to maintain good relations with her family.

18. Contact theme of interest.

19. Compliment her for her relatives.

20. Give gifts to each other.

21. Free to the routine, surprise her.

22. Have a good opinion of each other.

23. Have good manners, forget the little things, look no defects.

24. Be patient during pregnancy.

25. Respect it by his jealousy.

26. Be humble.

27. Sacrifice your happiness for her.

28. Help at home with the housework.

29. Help her to love their relatives, however, did not try to force it.

30. Let her know that she is the ideal woman for you.

31. Remember his wife in Du'a.

32. Leave the past Allah, no basement or bring it to light.

33. Do not act like you're doing her a favor, remember that Allah is the Provider, the husband is only the carrier of living for the family.

34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not his wife.

35. Put food in the mouth of his wife.

36. Treat your wife as the most precious pearl that you want to protect.

37. Show him your smile.

38. Do not ignore the little things, deal with them before they came to be large.

39. Respect and show that you appreciate their thinking.

40. Help her find and build its internal strengths and skills.

41. Respect when she can not be in the mood for intimacy.

Keep to the Sunnah of foreplay, do not jump on it like an animal.

42. Help her to take care of children.

43. Sit down and make meals together.

44. Tell it in advance when you travel or return trip.

45. Do not leave home angry.

46. Keep the confidentiality and privacy of home.

47. Encourage each other in the worship of Allah.

48. Living with her kindness, goodness, justice, in good times and bad.

49. Show care for their health and well-being.

50. Remember you also is not perfect, so perfect -If.

51. Share your happiness and sadness with her.

52. Have mercy on their weaknesses.

53. Be strong support for her support.

The above list is a difficult task, but:

"Nothing is difficult when done to the satisfaction of Allah, and nothing is easy when done to the satisfaction of the ego." We ask Allah, the Most High, the path to success and virtue. Amen.

***From an anonymous source

Family Canteen
Veianet Online Store
Love Crisis
Fanbox Experience

How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

How To Save A Marriage After Infidelity

The pain of an affair can crush any marriage. Find out what you need to do if you wish to save the relationship.



There is perhaps no bigger sting than the shock of infidelity. Knowing your spouse was unfaithful severs the bond of trust that is so vital to the strength of a marriage. It is perhaps the worst thing that can happen to threaten a marriage and it is often fatal to the relationship. Some people simply cannot move past the betrayal and they find the marriage to be beyond repair.



Many people wrestle with the decision to save their marriage. Some affairs are long and drawn out with strong emotional ties. Others are simply one-night flings that have little or no meaning. Deciding whether to save your marriage will depend on how you feel about your spouse and if your spouse is willing to stay. If you decide to try to stay together remember that it will be a long and exhausting venture, but it can be done.

Why Us?



Most affairs begin to fill an emotional void. Married couples can sometimes drift apart in some areas of their lives and this leaves the door open for someone else to step into the middle of the marriage. Often the cheater is seeking to fill some emotional need that is not being met at home. Cheaters start out just looking for someone to understand them. In the end, it's the way the other person makes them feel that keeps them emotionally invested in the affair. This can happen in even the best marriages. People often get so involved with their personal pursuits, their jobs, and in raising the children they forget that their spouse still needs them.



First Steps



The very first thing the faithful spouse must do is face the fact that the affair happened. Ignoring it and moving on will not work. This only builds resentment and delays the inevitable. If your spouse has cheated you have to keep in mind that your spouse it suffering too. People who end long emotional affairs often fall into deep depression. Even if you can feel no sympathy for your cheating spouse's pain, it is important to realize that it is very real.



It's Over



If the cheating spouse has decided they would like to remain in the marriage they must completely cut off all ties with the other person. This is sometimes hard but it essential if the marriage is to be saved. If the other person is a friend, coworker, or even worse, a family member this part can be disruptive to your life. In extreme cases you may have to move or the cheater must find a new job. If the cheater is still exposed to the other person it is likely that the affair may resume at some point in the future. This is also extremely important to the faithful spouse. If the cheater agrees to end the affair and never go near the other person again, this will help to rebuild the trust. It also lets the faithful spouse know that the cheater is serious about fixing the marriage and moving ahead.



Withdrawal



After all contact between the cheater and the other person has been severed, the cheater will go into withdrawal. This is much like an alcoholic that has gone sober. They need time to mourn a part of their life that is over and may have meant a lot to them. The affair filled a need for them and this is now gone. This will be hard for the faithful spouse to accept but it is important for this stage to happen uninterrupted. This phase may take anywhere from a few weeks to many months. The time involved depends on the depth of the emotional loss for the cheater. The cheater may feel frustrated, angry, and sad during this time.



It is important for the faithful spouse to allow this stage to happen in its own time. Many times a spouse will try to fill the void that the other person has left in their partner's life. This leaves the cheater confused and frustrated all over again. Only after the withdrawal period is over can the healing really begin in earnest.



Repair and Move On



Once the withdrawal period is over the real healing can start. The faithful spouse may find that the cheater does not feel as much remorse as they think they should. This is hard on the faithful spouse and should be directly addressed. This is when the deep conversations should take place. The cheater should apologize and answer every question the faithful spouse asks them. They must show understanding and a willingness to be completely open and honest about everything. The faithful spouse should give himself or herself all the time they need to ponder the situation and decide how they wish to proceed. They should ask every question they have until they are satisfied that they have all the information they need.



Making It Work



As long as both spouses remain committed to reconciliation, any thing is possible. Spouses should show each other compassion and understanding, be patient with each other, and learn what is needed to avoid another affair. Seek counseling together and separately if needed. This may be a crucial and healing exercise for both parties involved. Sometimes couples must learn how to love each other and relate to each other all over again. With love and hard work the marriage can survive and last a lifetime.

By: Outside Source

Veianet Online Store

Wedding Invitations

Browsing on the net, I happen to catch a glimpse of an article by yahoo titled Wedding Gift Sparks Epic Text Battle: Is Marriage Etiquette Dead? I read on and tried to understand what is it all about. It made me realize one thing : LOVE is dead in this marriage.

Is a wedding a way to earn money or to share a happy moment to family and friends? Maybe it was like that originally. The new generation has changed, perhaps the whole essence of what is a wedding? There were different views expressed in this article, some defending the brides and some sided with the giver. There are two sides of this story as always it is. The giver and the receiver.

As a receiver, the bride plans a wedding, elaborately and extravagantly for her dream wedding. As a bride, I want it to be the best day of my life and that should be okay. The bride has a right to execute according to how she wants her wedding day.  She would be in charge of how much to spend and where to get the money; where to seize the moment and how to convey the message of a wonderful wedding in her  heart. This is very normal for a bride to be...

However, let's look at the other part of the wedding. Who is going to be there? Who would I want to be there? Who should be in my wedding? If a bride believes that a wedding is something to share, then it would be easy because it would be simple and quick. But if the bride thinks a wedding is something that she rely on for her future life, then it has to be grand and expects from her guest list a gift that will take care of her future married life.

The giver on the other hand prepares for the excitement of this wedding. In fact, sometimes the giver would spend a fortune to keep up with the crowd. As a giver, it is important to understand if the bride is close or not. Is she a family member? Is she a good friend or an acquaintance?  The closeness of their relationships matter to the giver. That is normal for any giver unless he or she has a lot to spend and splash on for no reason.

The giver not knowing what to expect, tries their best to find something fun, good and appropriate for the bride and groom. It is hard for a give to know exactly what the couple wants or expect unless stated in the invitation card. It is not easy for a giver who wants to give the best for the couple at an affordable price. Something worth remembering and yet not pricey. Something pricey if the invited quest can afford but without memorable attachment to it would be easy. It all depends on what kind of a person is the giver.  

My thoughts tried to understand what went wrong in this wedding, supposed to be the best day of the couple's life, uniting into one.

Maybe, I should be upfront on my next wedding invitation when sending the RSVP and remember to ask " What is your expectation? Are you inviting me to share your blissful day or you expect me to take care of your future by paying my plate?". It seemed absurd but honestly, it will clear up my mind to make a good decision - whether I can afford such invitation or not.

Garden & Recipe
Prayer Box
True or False Info
Health Info & Remedies
Family
Family Canteen
Veianet Store
Love Crisis

The Passbook

She married him today.

At the end of the wedding party, her mother gave her a newly opened bank savings passbook, with $1000 deposited in it.

She told her, "My dear daughter, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your married life. Whenever something happy and memorable happens in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the amount. The more memorabl

e the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with your husband. When you look back after years, you will know how much happiness you've both shared.'

She shared this with him after getting home. Both of them thought it was a great idea and couldn't wait to make the next deposit! This is what the passbook looked like after a while:

- 7 Feb: $100, his first birthday celebration after marriage

- 1 Mar: $300, she gets a salary raise

- 20 Mar: $200, vacation to Bali

- 15 Apr: $2000, She's pregnant!

- 1 Jun: $1000, He gets the big promotion

and so on...

However, as the years went by, they began fighting and arguing over trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty person in the world...There was no more love.

One day she talked to her Mother. 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We have decided to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!'

Her mother replied, 'Sure, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want, if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing. Remember the savings passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

She agreed with her. So she went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to her. Her eyes were filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she got home, she handed the passbook to him and asked him to spend the money before getting divorced.

So the next day, he went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account. While he was waiting, he took a look at the passbook record. He looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to him. His eyes were filled with tears. He left and went home.

He gave the passbook back to her. She found a new deposit of $5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I realized how much I've loved you throughout all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back into the safe.

If you like this story then from now on give a print out of this story to every couple who is getting married along with a nice notebook to record their happy times...who know you may just be able to help them !!

Veianet Online Store

Love Crisis



Join Free and Earn Instantly

Make Money with Triple clicks, FREE to join

Make Money Online, FREE to join

The fruit of SILENCE is Prayer 

The fruit of PRAYER is Faith 

The fruit of FAITH is Love 

The fruit of LOVE is Service 

The fruit of SERVICE is Peace