12 Things Happy Couples Talk About and Feel Closer!

What makes a couple happy? Well, for starters, these 12 things happy couples talk about can make all the difference between happy love and a bad romance!

One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone to talk to about everything that crosses your mind.

When you are in a happy relationship, it may seem as though there is nothing that you and your partner don’t discuss.

But then again, there are some topics of conversation that you may find yourselves repeating rather often.

Happy couples have some of the richest conversations because the topics can stretch from the past to the present, and look forward into the future together.

These conversations are rich and meaningful *even if they just seem silly or trivial!* and indicate that your relationship will continue to be a source of happiness for a long time.

Happy couples and the 3 stages of conversations

What are the things that happy couples talk about? We’ve listed out twelve of the most common conversation topics for happy couples.

If these conversations sound like the ones that you have with your partner via text during the day, over a late-night supper, or during a long car trip, you can be confident that you are doing your relationship right, and progressing together as a happy couple, in the right direction! 

couples talk about the past

#1 Fond memories. The best part of being a happy couple is that you have happy memories to look back on. Reminiscing with your partner is an excellent way to remember the fantastic times that both of you have shared together, and reminds you why you love each other.

#2 Childhood. Filling your significant other in on parts of your childhood helps them to understand where you have come from and why you are the way you are. These stories also knit together not just the two of you, but also the other important family members in your lives.

Sharing these parts of yourself can make a relationship deeper and more meaningful, and childhood experiences often make for the most fantastic of stories! 

#3 Bittersweet memories. While happy memories may be the most fun to talk about, the hard things that you’ve crossed paths with often explain more about your personality than anything else. By sharing these conversations with your partner, you are demonstrating trust *chances are, some of these memories are the ones you hold closest to your heart*, and also showing them a more emotional side of yourself.

Bittersweet memories often include the people, lessons, and experiences that you hold the dearest to you and sharing them with your partner brings the two of you much closer together.

#4 Obstacles you have overcome. Even the happiest couples have had to overcome hard times and misunderstandings. However, just because these fights or misunderstandings have long since been solved doesn’t mean that you never discuss them again. By talking over the past struggles, happy couples are able to learn from the past by identifying patterns and behaviors that need to be repaired or modified in their relationships.

Happy couples talk about the present

#5 Their feelings. One of the most important factors in the communication of happy couples is their ability to share their feelings honestly with each other. By keeping your partner attuned to how you feel, they would be in a better position to judge their own actions and reactions. And at the same time, communicating about feelings always increases the clarity of your communications. 

#6 Their day and their daily lives. In today’s world, it is rare that couples are able to spend all day together. Happy couples are able to lead separate lives, but make a point of filling each other in on what they’ve accomplished or endured during the day.

By communicating the day-to-day events of their lives, happy couples are able to understand each other better. Knowing the little details of your partner’s job or hearing about all the people they interact with every day shows interest in all parts of your partner’s life, not just the time spent beside you.

#7 Inside jokes. There is nothing more hilarious than being able to make your significant other laughs hysterically by saying a single word or making a certain face. Having jokes that only the two of you understand brings you closer together and gives you a surefire way to survive boring dinner parties or work functions!

The best part about inside jokes is that they have a tendency to grow more humorous over time – and no one else will understand why the two of you have tears of laughter rolling down your face.

#8 Individual preferences. Happy couples have no difficulty communicating their preferences – favorite kinds of movies, music, or evenings out. Being honest, and trusting that your partner will love you anyways is incredibly important to creating a happy and healthy relationship.

After all, if you feel that you have to constantly hide parts of yourself from your boyfriend, girlfriend or your spouse, you will never be fully comfortable and confident with your significant other. Happy couples trust that their relationship is strong enough to handle honest discussions about preferred activities, events, or entertainment. 

#9 Embarrassing moments

Embarrassing moments can be some of the most mortifying parts of your life, but they can also be some of the most ridiculous ones too! Being able to share funny stories that don’t always cast you in the best light is a sign that you trust your partner completely and know that they will love you no matter what.

Sharing embarrassing moments is a great chance to laugh with your significant other, and to stop taking yourself seriously. It can be incredibly endearing to hear about the times you have both made fools out of yourselves, and that will bring the two of you closer together.

Happy couples talk about the future

#10 Plans. When you are in a happy relationship, any big decision is discussed between the two of you before any steps are taken. This shows respect for each other and a desire to include the other person in decisions that will affect both of you.

Happy couples make plans together, especially if the decisions are hard ones that will have an impact on the relationship, but they also talk about the small things like planning a dinner out with a friend. Asking for your significant other’s input about the plans you make even on an individual level, shows your respect for them and the appreciation of their opinions.

#11 Hopes. Happy couples make sure that their conversations include discussions about what they hope will happen in the future. These discussions might be about what you hope will happen in your relationship specifically, or what you hope will happen professionally.

While having a strict 5-year-plan is not the solution for many relationships, having a good understanding of what both partners expect from their future, both as partners in the relationship or marriage, and individually, always helps communication in love.

Having a basic understanding of what they are hopefully moving towards as a couple is important for happy couples, and ensures that both partners will be able to stay happy as the relationship moves forwards. 

#12 Dreams. The best part of being with someone who you trust completely is that you can share your biggest dreams with them. These dreams can be as serious or as silly as you want, but trusting your significant other with these things that you hold close to your heart is the key to happy couples.

It is easy to be jealous of happy couples that seem to have everything figured out and still have unlimited topics of conversations all the time.

But with a little effort, trust and communication, you can have these conversations in your own love life too. 

And the best thing about these conversations in your own relationship *regardless of how happy you currently are*, is the fact that it’ll strengthen and build a happier relationship. After all, these conversation topics demonstrate honesty, enjoyment of each other’s company, and mutual respect – the best building blocks for any relationship.

So how many of these 12 things happy couples talk about do you indulge in, in your own relationship, a few or all of them? The answer can reveal just how happy you are, and just how much happier you can be!

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Security Tips for the Holiday Season

Happy Online Shopping –

5 Security Tips for the Holiday Season

The holiday season is almost upon us, which means the holiday shopping season is also almost upon us.

And as always, it’s bound to be a crazy time of scrambling for the biggest and best deals, both in stores and online.

But while your wallet is destined to take a hit as you stack up on gifts for your family and friends, you want to make sure cybercrooks don’t make your list of people who will be receiving presents this year.

Sadly, with 2014 being labeled by some as ‘The Year of the Hack’, it may be easier for them than ever before to do just that. Fortunately, armed with some general security know-how, you can make their hacking jobs significantly harder while making your online shopping experience slightly less stressful.

Here are 5 online shopping tips to stay secure this holiday season:

1.Be Breachophobic

This one applies to traditional holiday shopping as well…

With the influx of massive data breaches across a wide variety of industries, no company seems to be safe. And popular retailers have been hit particularly hard (looking at you, Target, Michaels, Home Depot, Staples, KMart, etc).

Unfortunately, these breaches don’t show any signs of slowing down. Perhaps even more, unfortunately, as a result of this, consumers are experiencing ‘breach fatigue’ and not changing their buying behavior even in the midst of all these attacks (according to a recent report from Ponemon).

But in this case, fear is actually a good thing. It keeps you on your security toes. Don’t have the ‘yeah, a lot of people are impacted, but it won’t happen to me’ attitude when it comes to breaches.

If you learn of a breach at a company whose store you recently bought something in or at a bank that you use, take a proactive approach. Call you credit card company and have a new card issued ASAP. Call your bank and find our what steps you need to take to protect yourself. These are not the most fun activities, but they could save you from a potential financial/data loss nightmare.

Likewise, if you’re planning to go shopping at a particular retailer and you find out they’ve recently experienced a data breach, look to do your shopping elsewhere. Ok, maybe you won’t be able to take advantage of that exclusive Black Friday deal, but most of the competing big-name stores will likely have something similar. Plus, what good is that brand-new big-screen TV you got for a ‘steal’ if attackers got access to your credit card number?

2.Beware of enticing ‘Amazing Deal’ links in your email inbox

If a deal looks too good to be true, it probably is.

Phishing emails are still a popular tool for cybercriminals. The difference these days, however, is that they look more legitimate than they did in the past. Obvious red-flags like blatant grammatical errors or strange email addresses from the sender are less common and the bad guys are finding more creative ways to get you onto their fake, information-stealing pages.

An example of a UPS Phishing email (Source: PC Mag)

And the fact that the holiday season has many legitimate great deals actually benefits cybercriminals, giving them a perfect opportunity to blend in with a phishing email that would normally seem out of place.

So don’t just immediately click a link in that ‘great deal’ email that popped up in your inbox. Verify that the sender is legitimate, check for grammatical errors and inconsistencies, and even compare it with another email you’ve gotten from that company in the past that you know was legitimate. If there’s something odd or out-of-place, don’t pull the purchase trigger and potentially open yourself up for identity theft or money loss.

3.Know your surroundings

Just because you can connect to WiFi almost anywhere doesn’t mean you should connect to WiFi any time it’s available.

If you’re doing any of your holiday shopping online, it’s really in your best wishes to do it over a secure network.

As appealing as it may seem to knock out some of your holiday shopping as you’re sitting sipping your mocha at that coffee shop, know that public WiFi hotspots are just that – public. That means anybody can connect to them, including an attacker looking to catch a hapless holiday shopper unawares.

There’s a much lower chance someone will break into your network at home, unless of course your home network isn’t password protected. Which brings up another good tip – password-protect your WiFi network at home. And make sure to actually use a strong password! No ‘password’ for your password.

4.Mobile Devices are vulnerable, too

PC, Mac, Android, iOS…it doesn’t matter. No device/operating system is malware or hacker-proof. Let me rephrase: that means mobile devices aren’t in the clear! No, not even the iPhone is safe; remember the recent WireLurker malware?

So if you’re thinking: “I’ll just do my all my online holiday shopping on my tablet to avoid the chances of getting hacked”, don’t do that. It’s a flawed mindset.

Mobile is a hot target for hackers at the moment. Remember that today’s mobile devices aren’t the bricks of yesteryear that you used to make calls and play Snake. Nope, today’s smartphones (and especially tablets) are bonafide computing machines, and protecting them in the same way you’d protect your computer isn’t an idea that should be ignored.

But aside from installing mobile security (which you should definitely do), there are other actions you can take to mitigate mobile risks, a major one being not jailbreaking/rooting your devices and/or using third-party app stores. Easier to do and access on Android devices, these third-party app stores are often riddled with malicious apps that can steal your information and dollars.

5.Safeguard all your devices

Even if you’re intelligent in your browsing and downloading habits, having computer ‘street smarts’ isn’t enough anymore. New threats are emerging seemingly by the hour, vulnerabilities like HeartBleed and Shellshock are coming into light, and if you fall victim to an encrypting ransomware (that seems to be ever-evolving) with no sort of protection, you’re paying hundreds of dollars to get your files back or paying even more for a new computer.

But let’s bring it back to the holiday shopping topic. Take the fake phishing email scenario, for example. Even if you take the aforementioned steps to verify the validity of the email, you’re not completely out of the ‘cyber’ woods. Like I said, hackers are becoming increasingly more clever and those phishing emails are often very difficult (if not flat-out impossible) to distinguish from the real thing. You need an intelligent security solution to have your back in case you get tricked despite your best efforts.

The holiday shopping season is less than a week away so be sure that you’re ready and that your devices are secure. Follow these basic online shopping security tips and go out there and buy those presents…carefully, yet confidently! And by ‘go out there’, I mean on the internet. That way, you can avoid this:

(Source: CNN Money)

Happy holiday shopping!

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Important Rituals to Do on New Year’s Eve

Most Important Rituals to Do on New Year’s Eve

With party planning and cooking you may forget to do the most important rituals on New Year’s Eve. Perhaps you don’t have any free minute to do at least one of these five rituals, but if you want the coming year to be successful and stress-free, let me help you. The beginning of the new year represents the whole year. By doing these five things, you will start the New Year on the right foot.

1. Let go of toxic people

Start the new year with letting go of toxic people. When you bring toxic people with you into the new year, chances are the coming year won’t be happy and positive. It’s hard to end a toxic relationship, especially with someone you love, but if that person makes you unhappy, there’s no sense in saving your relationship. Sometimes you should be selfish in order to be happy. Let them know that you don’t need them in your life anymore. One of the most important things to do on New Year’s Eve is to make a list of all toxic people you have in your life and make sure you end all toxic relationships.

2. Forgive

On New Year’s Eve you should forgive everyone, no matter what they did to you. Whether it’s your parent, husband, child, coworker, boss or best friend, they all deserve your forgiveness. You will feel much better once you forgive them. Remember no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Just say, ‘I forgive everyone’, and see how you’ll feel. Anger and hatred are dangerous feelings that can ruin the life of the happiest person in the world. Don’t start the new year with these feelings. Keep a positive attitude and don’t dwell on past mistakes. If needed, you should also forgive yourself. Again, no one is perfect, so if you made lots of mistakes this year, forgive yourself and start thinking about your goals to achieve in the new year.

3. Make a list of the most crucial goals

Before ringing in the new year, you should set your goals for 2015. On New Year’s Even, write down the most crucial goals you want to reach in 2015, but make sure that your goals are achievable. Once you set your goals, make a plan for achieving them. This way, you will become happier and more successful in 2015 because you will know what you want and what you should do.

4. Create your budget for the next year

This step may take a lot of time on New Year’s Eve, but it’s a good sign to create a budget before ringing in the new year. The thing is, when you have a well planned budget for the next year, it can help you achieve most of your financial goals easier and faster. Consider investing some money in improving your knowledge and skills and think about the ways to make some extra money. You should also set money-savings goals for 2015 and make a plan for reaching them.

5. Give money away

It’s always a good idea to help people in need, but by giving money away on New Year’s Eve you will attract financial prosperity as well. Make a donation to shelters, give some money to homeless people, or feed stray animals on New Year’s Eve. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Remember even one dollar can make a big difference. When you spend your money on good deeds, you attract even more money. Sure, you can help others every day, not only before the new year.

There are a few other rituals we should do on New Year’s Eve in order to have a better new year. However, I believe that these are the most important ones. What do you think? What rituals do you do on New Year’s Eve. Please, let me know!

                                       Thanks for your visit

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How to Squash Negative Thought Patterns

How to Squash Negative Thought Patterns

Suppose you have the bad habit of dwelling too much on the same negative thoughts.  And suppose there’s no outward physical manifestation associated to them.  It’s just negative thinking, like “I’m so depressed” or “I hate my job” or “I can’t do this” or “I hate being fat.”  How do you break a bad habit when it’s entirely in your mind?

There are actually quite a number of ways to decondition a negative thought pattern.  The basic idea is to replace the old pattern with a new one.  Mentally resisting the negative thought will usually backfire — you’ll simply reinforce it and make it even worse.  The more you fire those neurons in the same way, the stronger the pattern becomes.

Here’s a little method I use to break negative thought patterns.  It’s basically something I concocted from a combination of the swish pattern from NLP and a memory technique known as chaining.  I usually find the swish pattern alone to be weak and ineffective, but this method works very well for me.

Instead of trying to resist the negative thought pattern, you will redirect it.  Think of it like mental kung fu.  Take the energy of the negative thought and rechannel it into a positive thought.  With a little mental conditioning, whenever the negative thought occurs, your mind will automatically flow into the linked positive thought.  It’s similar to Pavlov’s dogs learning to salivate when the bell rang.

Here’s how it works:

Let’s assume your negative thought is subvocalization, meaning that it’s like you hear a voice in your head that says something you want to change, like, “I’m an idiot.”  If the negative thought is visual (a mental image) or kinesthetic (a gut feeling), you can use a similar process.  In many cases the thought will manifest as a combination of all three (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic).

Step 1:  Turn the negative thought into a mental image.

Take that little voice, and turn it into a corresponding mental picture.  For example, if your thought is, “I’m an idiot,” imagine yourself wearing a dunce cap, dressed very foolishly, and jumping around like a dork.  See yourself surrounded by other people all pointing at you while you shout, “I’m an idiot.”  The more you exaggerate the scene, the better.  Imagine bright colors, lots of animation, rapid movement, and even sexual imagery if it helps you remember.  Rehearse this scene over and over in your mind until you reach the point where thinking the negative thought automatically brings up this goofy imagery.

If you have trouble visualizing, you can also do the above in an auditory fashion.  Translate the negative thought into a sound, such as a jingle that you sing.  Go through the same process with sound instead of imagery.  It works either way.  I happen to prefer the visual method though.

Step 2:  Select an empowering replacement thought.

Now decide what thought you’d like to have instead of the negative one.  So if you’ve been thinking, “I’m an idiot,” maybe you’d like to replace that with “I’m brilliant.”  Choose a thought that empowers you in a way that disrupts the disempowering effect of the original negative thought.

Step 3:  Turn the positive thought into a mental image.

Now go through the same process you used in Step 1 to create a new mental scene from the positive thought.  So with the example “I’m brilliant,” you might imagine yourself standing tall, posing like Superman with your hands on your hips.  Picture a giant light bulb appearing just above your head.  The bulb turns on so bright that it’s blinding, and you see yourself yelling, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!”  Again, keep rehearsing this scene until merely thinking the positive line automatically brings up the associated imagery.

Step 4:  Mentally chain the two images together.

Now take the images in Step 1 and Step 3, and mentally glue them together.  This trick is used in memory techniques like chaining or pegging.  You want to morph the first scene into the second scene.  The NLP swish pattern would have you do a straight cut from one scene to the next, but I recommend you animate the first scene into the second.  A cut is very weak glue and often won’t stick.  So instead pretend you’re the director of a movie.  You have the opening scene and the closing scene, and you have to fill in the middle.  But you only have a few seconds of film left, so you want to find a way to make the transition happen as quickly as possible.

For example, one of the hecklers in the first scene might throw a light bulb at the idiot version of you.  The idiot you catches the bulb and screws it into the top of his head, wincing at the pain.  The bulb then grows into a giant bulb and turns on so bright it blinds all the hecklers.  You rip off your dorky clothing to reveal a shining white robe beneath it.  You stand tall like Superman and yell confidently, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!”  The hecklers fall to their knees and begin worshipping you.  Again, the more exaggeration you use, the better.  Exaggeration makes it easier to remember the scene because our brains are designed to remember the unusual.

Once you have the whole scene worked out, mentally rehearse it for speed.  Replay the whole scene over and over until you can imagine it from beginning to end in under 2 seconds, ideally in under 1 second.  It should be lightning fast, much faster than you’d see in the real world.

Step 5:  Test.

Now you need to test your mental redirect to see if it works.  It’s a lot like an HTML redirect — when you input the old negative URL, your mind should automatically redirect you to the positive one.  Merely thinking the negative thought should rapidly bring up the positive thought.  If you’ve done this correctly, you won’t be able to help it.  The negative thought is the stimulus that causes your mind to run the whole pattern automatically.  So whenever you happen to think, “I’m an idiot,” even without being fully aware of it, you end up thinking, “I’m brilliant.”

If you’ve never done visualizations like this before, it may take you several minutes or longer to go through this whole process.  Speed comes with practice.  The whole thing can literally be done in seconds once you get used to it.  Don’t let the slowness of the first time through discourage you.  This is a learnable skill like any other, and it probably will feel a bit awkward the first time.

I recommend you experiment with different types of imagery.  You’ll likely find some variations more effective than others.  Pay particular attention to association vs. dissociation.  When you’re associated in a scene, you’re imagining seeing it through your own eyes (i.e. first-person perspective).  When you’re dissociated you’re imagining seeing yourself in the scene (i.e. third-person perspective).  I usually get the best results when I dissociate in both scenes.  Your results may vary.  You may have to do some mental camera work if you switch from dissociated to associated or vice versa, but it can be done with practice.

I did a lot of this type of mental conditioning during the early 90s.  Whenever I uncovered a negative thought, I plucked it out and redirected it.  Within a few days, I had reprogrammed dozens of negative thought patterns, and pretty soon it became hard for my mind to even produce a negative thought or emotion.  Everything kept getting redirected to the positive side.  I think that’s partly why I felt so confident about starting my own business right out of college — I used mental conditioning to redirect the thoughts of self-doubt to a more can-do mindset.  I also used this a lot while in college, and I’m sure it helped me graduate faster than normal.  I still had to deal with plenty of real-world challenges, but at least I wasn’t battling my own self-doubt at the same time.

This type of mental conditioning gave me a lot more conscious control over my internal states.  Today it’s so internalized that I just do it automatically without even thinking about it.  My subconscious took over at some point, so whenever I have a thought like “I can’t,” it automatically gets twisted into “How can I?”  That’s actually supposed to happen — with enough mental conditioning practice, your subconscious will take over.  Memory experts similarly report that with practice, techniques like pegging and chaining are taken over by the subconscious, just like riding a bicycle.

Give this process a try the next time you notice yourself dwelling on a negative thought.  I think you’ll find it very empowering.  And feel free to share it with others who could use a mental pick-me-up.

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True Love

TRUE LOVE

True love

Love. Love is the greatest gift God ever gave man. Love is not wanting to go anywhere without her. Love is not caring what other people think about the two of you. Love is when you feel depressed and sickly when you're not with her. You feel like your life has no meaning or purpose without her. And that if she wasn't holding your hand you would float away to heaven from where she came. Love is caring for her physically and emotionally. It's telling her every day, anytime, anywhere, anyhow, for no just reason that you love her. Love is telling her u want to spend the rest of your life with her. Love is wanting to marry her even tho ya'll haven't been dating that long. That you would do anything and everything for her. It's the feeling that you would give up everything just to see her smile or look into her beautiful eyes or hear her soft, soothing voice. Love is pure happiness. Love is the feeling you get when all you have to do is think of her and it brings a smile to your face and a yearning to your heart. Love is not being able to think about nothing but her. Love is having the sweetest dreams about her and waking up with a smile on your face. Love is an overwhelming feeling of pure bliss when the 2 of u kiss. Love is wanting to hold her in ur arms till the end of time. Love is wishing ur time with her never ends, that your lips would be locked together forever, that she'd be in ur arms till the end of time, that u could cuddle with her for all of eternity. Love is being helplessly and deeply in love with her and knowing your love for her and your feelings for her will never change/end. Love is the world, the world is love, and she is the world to me...

Soulmate

A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness, and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.

Finding my soulmate is the best thing that has ever happened to me; I have never felt this kind of love and understanding. We connect in so many ways, it astounds me.

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How To Attract A Healthy Relationship

How to Attract a Healthy Relationship

Have you found yourself continually attracting the same kind of unhealthy person into your life, such as people who are narcissistic or emotionally unavailable? This is the situation Connie finds herself in.
"As a child of narcissists, I've struggled for decades. My attraction to men, since the age of 14, has been to narcissists and sociopaths. I thought it was love, but really I was seeking approval. I have been healing for many years, yet as a highly sensitive person with this history, I know I may always be vulnerable. The catch is evaluating someone new with a level head, and making sound decisions before falling 'blindly' in love. What are your thoughts to attract a healthy love relationship that is not based on dependency or approval?"
Many people tend to be attracted to people who are similar to one or both of their parents. Their ego wounded self says, "If I can get a person like my mom or dad to love me, then I will be okay." The problem is that there are three different lies in this statement:

1. You can't have control over how people feel about you.
2. People who are not loving themselves won't learn to love you, no matter how loving you think you are being with them.
3. As an adult, you need to learn to love yourself to feel that you are okay. Others' love can help and support you in developing self-worth, but no one can do it for you.

So trying to get a narcissistic or emotionally unavailable person to love you and connect with you will always be a losing battle.
Attracting "a healthy love relationship that is not based on dependency or approval" naturally occurs as you learn to love yourself. The more you learn to love and value who you really are in your essence, the less you will find yourself attracted to people who are not loving or valuing themselves. As the Law of Attraction states, "Like attracts like," so the more you abandon yourself and then seek others' approval to feel okay, the more you attract other self-abandoning people.
Connie finds herself attracted to narcissists because she is coming from her own narcissistic wounded self. The wounded self in all of us as some degree of narcissism, which means that, when we are abandoning ourselves and are operating from our wounded self, we expect someone else to take responsibility for our feelings of worth and ability to love. When we are abandoning ourselves, we are operating from a low 'frequency,' and we attract other people who are also operating from a low frequency - i.e., the Law of Attraction.
When we practice Inner Bonding, learning to connect with our spiritual Guidance and operate as a loving adult who takes responsibility for our own feelings of self-worth, then we operate from a high frequency and we attract other high-frequency people - people who are also loving themselves and taking responsibility for their feelings and defining their own self-worth.
So I would say to Connie, "It's not about '... evaluating someone new with a level head, and making sound decisions before falling 'blindly' in love.' It's about becoming the kind of person you want to attract. The more you learn to connect with yourself and your spiritual Guidance, the quicker you can sense the frequency of another person."
When you are operating from your loving adult rather than from your wounded self, you can sense immediately whether someone is authentically open and loving, rather than acting open and loving. Narcissistic and emotionally unavailable people are adept at acting open, but there is a huge difference in frequency between genuinely open and caring people and people who have learned to act open and caring. The more open and caring you become with yourself, the easier it becomes to sense the truth about another person.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9159427

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Courageous Mom, Raising Funds

Courageous mum-of-four who lost half her face to cancer releases pictures of reconstruction surgery in a bid to raise cash for charity

HELEN Butchart's right shoulder blade was used to rebuild her face during a 22-hour operation after cancer eats into her cheekbone, palate, and eye.

A MOTHER of four who lost half her face to cancer has bravely released pictures of the reconstruction surgery in a bid to raise cash for charity.

Surgeons used Helen Butchart’s right shoulder blade to rebuild her face during a 22-hour operation.

The cancer had eaten into the 54-year-old’s cheekbone, palate, and eye – all of which had to be removed.

Now Helen, of Lochgelly, Fife, is raising funds to help the medical team who saved her life.

Yesterday, she released pictures of her progress in the days and weeks since her surgery.

Her maxillary sinus cancer was only discovered after dental treatment failed to cure her swollen face.

Helen, who has run her own flower shop for 17 years, was treated with antibiotics and had three teeth taken out. Still, in pain, she was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year.

She said: “The tumor had eaten into my right cheekbone, right eye, and palate. I was in great pain by the beginning of February and was on morphine day and night.”

Helen had her life-changing operation at Glasgow’s Southern General Hospital on February 17.

Surgeons cut out cancer and reconstructed her face.

Helen said: “They had to create a new cheekbone and palate – my right shoulder blade was used to do this.

“The skin on my face had stretched too much and was so thin they had to give me a flap.

“They also removed lymph nodes on the right-hand side.”

She added: “This is the second last day of radiotherapy, so I’m relieved about that. It’s difficult to speak at the moment because of ulcers in my throat.”

Incredibly, she was back home within 10 days.

The pictures were taken at 10 days, three weeks, and five weeks after the operation.

They show the right side of Helen’s face still swollen and covered with a thick skin graft. A jagged purple scar runs across where her right eye used to be.

Helen posted them to her Facebook and Just Giving fundraising page. Pals were quick to praise her.

Gordon Wilson wrote: “Geezus, you always had the X factor gal. You have taken things to another level this time and rose to it.

“Anyone who ain’t feeling emotion reading the above posts just ain’t human. X is for kisses aplenty but in your case, it’s sheer guts.”

Helen’s sister Janice Macrimmon wrote: “From the day you were told about the tumor you have
demonstrated strength like no other. You have faced every step with courage and humor – it wouldn’t be you if there wasn’t a smile and a joke involved.

“I, as your big sister, feel immensely proud to call you my wee sister, keep up the good work pal.”

She also praised Helen’s husband, John, saying: “John Butchart needs a special mention here as I am so proud of you, John – you are a rock.”

Helen’s niece wrote: “Aunty Helen, you are the bravest woman I know and a true inspiration to everyone.”

Helen said: “I have nothing but praise and respect for the surgeons who helped me at that difficult time.”

She wants to raise money for the NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde Endowments fund. It pays for extra equipment, research, training, and patient comfort.

Last night, Helen had made more than £8800 for the fund. She said: “I have been overwhelmed by the generosity and support given by local communities. It’s great how everyone pulls together.”

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7 Amazing Benefits of Being Optimistic about Life

Nowadays we live in a harsh world full of troubles, grief and negative news. If to treat everything seriously, you may realize that everything is falling apart. People are surrounded by hatred, fear, and greed. But there are many opposite and wonderful things that keep balance in this world. If you want to be on the positive wave, you should try to spread love, inspiration and joy in life. Moreover, optimistic people tend to experience more pleasant emotions and moments than pessimists, because optimism makes your reality colorful. Even when you go through tough times and feel downhearted, you should find the reasons to be optimistic about life.

Troubles and life challenges are just an experience that teaches you to be more reasonable and versed in the same situations in the future. You should be grateful for this life experience because it is a chance for you to become skillful in various spheres of life. Check out a few amazing benefits of being optimistic about life.

1. Optimism provides improvement

Optimism has always been the basic element of financial and professional success and improvement. I’m sure that optimists always have more room and chances for improvement than pessimists. Optimists usually don’t mull over their problems and they try to handle the situation faster because they have a large circle of friends and acquaintances. Furthermore, it is extremely important to believe that the situation will get better by all means. All you need is to be confident and make an effort to change the situation for the better.

2. Many things to enjoy

Have you ever tried to notice something simple but beautiful around you? Unfortunately, people have already got used to seeing only negative things since they can easily attract people’s attention. Open your eyes and look around you. You’ll find a great number of wondrous things to enjoy. It’s not necessary to be a millionaire to reach this joy. Many simple pleasures are priceless because you cannot buy a magnificent smile of your child or the moments of happiness spent together with your best friend. Life is a wonderful thing!

Read also – 10 Excuses That Are Keeping You from Reaching Your Goals

3. Positive moments in your life

I think that almost every person has something wonderful and pleasant in their life. When you have to overcome serious barriers, you should try to develop a positive outlook. You need to be proud of your family, friends, hobbies, interesting job and other majestic moments that you find insignificant in your life. Grab some paper and write down all your positive traits and life achievements. You will understand that things aren’t as bad as you think.

4. It’s good medicine for tough times

Every optimist knows that both tough and great times won’t last forever. They are ready to deal with various challenges. Many optimists live by the one-day principle that helps them to protect themselves from anxiety and worries about the past and future. It’s desirable to be patient and soon you’ll notice that being optimistic will pay off. For the typical optimist, a small obstacle on the path to the aim is a kind of opportunity, but not a burden.

5. Longer life

According to numerous scientific researches, optimists succeed in maintaining health and youth. Positive thinking and attitude increase the body’s defense level and make it stronger. The harmony of the soul is the best defense against negative things and diseases. Optimism is the best way to deal with stress. Constant anxiety and stress are so dangerous for your body and your mind. It will help you live longer and enjoy every moment of your life. If you want to improve the quality and increase the duration of life, then replace your pessimism with optimism.

6. The power of positive thinking

Many optimistic people find positive thinking extremely effective in achieving their goals. It also helps you remain in a good mood. Positive thinking also affects your senses and helps you focus on the main aspects of life. Consequently, you will make it a habit to look for the positive side of everything. You will learn how to notice all possible benefits around you. If you convince yourself that you can get or do what you want, you will certainly succeed in everything.

Read also – 7 Undeniable Reasons to Focus on Making Yourself Happy

7. It’s the key to your success

Optimists are people who always act instead of waiting for the miracle to happen. Those people who take small steps have more opportunities to reach their goals. You should realize that crying from the negative realities of life doesn’t bring results. Constant motion and an optimistic state of mind will open the door to your success. An optimist often sees a challenge as an experience. This strategy focuses their attention on a positive outcome.

It’s a great miracle to be a “glass half full” person in this difficult world. It doesn’t mean that you should always be happy, because life isn’t a bed of roses. Stephen King once said a true thing, “There’s no harm in hoping for the best as long as you are prepared for the worst.” Are you an optimist? Does positive attitude help you cope with life challenges?

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Anxiety Reduction Tools

Are you looking for anxiety reduction ideas that really work? Anxiety and stress are related to sleep deprivation, dissatisfaction at work and in relationships, physical ailments such as headaches, and many more struggles that are common today.  If you are coping with stress or anxiety, you may be searching for ways to improve your mood, experience more joy and hope, and feel more comfortable or confident in your day-to-day life.

Long-term strategies like psychotherapy, mindfulness practices, and prioritizing overall health are quite effective for managing anxiety and reducing its negative impact. While it’s vital to invest in yourself with ongoing processes like those listed above, there are also ways to relieve anxiety and stress that you can use to get results right now.

These three tools can be used today to relieve stress and improve your quality of life.

1. Get Into The Moment for Anxiety Reduction

Anxiety and stress take you hostage with thoughts about the past or future – taking you out of the present moment. You may notice that you try to control things by over-planning, over-analyzing, or obsessing over details.

Time thinking about the future will disconnect you from what your needs, thoughts, and feelings are right now. This is stressful for your brain and body to maintain. Bringing yourself back to your awareness of the present moment allows you to feel in control of yourself, rather than spinning in circles trying to plan a way to control something in your external world.

Here is a three-step challenge that you can use now to orient your mind and body in the present moment:

1. For a moment or two try to do nothing but breathe.

2. Look down at your body. Notice the color of your clothes, the comfort level of the chair you’re sitting in, and the way your chest moves as you breathe. Take your hands away from the computer, and rest them on your lap.

3. Look around you. Notice the detail about the things that are in your space. Try to observe without judging anything as good or bad. When your mind starts to wander, bring it back to focusing on this article – and this article alone.

2. Practicing Forgiveness for Anxiety Reduction

Have you heard that a grudge hurts you more than it hurts the other person? It’s better for your own health to forgive someone else instead of holding onto anger. Practicing forgiveness is also a way of releasing fear, anxiety, and stress! Forgiving someone else is allowing yourself to have a new experience – not necessarily of that person (let’s face it, sometimes we need to cut ties), but of the world and people in general.

Anxiety wants you to make negative assumptions about people and future experiences, convincing you that you’re being protected from more pain by assuming the worst. Forgiving will keep you open to new and better things.

Anxiety and stress are also linked to perfectionism. You may be convinced that you’re being responsible and dedicated when in fact you are carrying a heavy burden of doubt and negativity around with you as you try to accomplish tasks. Forgiving yourself sets you free from the burden of perfectionism, allowing you to accomplish more with more joy.

Here are two ways to practice forgiveness right now:

1. Take a moment to think of someone or something that you have been unable to forgive. Even if it’s not yet true, say aloud “I forgive you.” Practice it a few times, and try again tomorrow, until you are able to release yourself from the pain.

2. Think of a time that you tend to be critical of yourself. Is it difficult for you to allow yourself to make mistakes? Write yourself a note saying that you accept and forgive the mistake. Again, say it aloud to yourself: “I forgive you.”

3. Use Laughter and Joy for Anxiety Reduction

Laughter releases healing chemicals in the brain that bring relief. It also opens up the possibility to have a new experience in the moment. Novelty experiences, even small ones, are vital for daily stress management. Laughter can also help you experience an emotional connection with another person and help you create a positive memory.

In addition, connection with others is a key component to relief from anxiety symptoms, partially because experiencing frequent fear and stress can be isolating. Connecting through laughter (even via text message!) may break you out of a negative thought process. So, how can you bring some laughter, humor, and connection into your life today?

Here are three ways you can bring humor into your life right now:

1. Do something kind for a friend or acquaintance. It can be anything from sending a link to a funny video, writing a letter of gratitude, or taking time out of your day to help her. Look for the humor in a situation that might otherwise cause you to worry.

2. Do something today that is completely outside of your comfort zone. Put on music and dance, sign up for a martial arts class, or start up a conversation with a total stranger. Did you jump in and practice each example, or were you embarrassed, doubtful, or afraid?

3. Anxiety may try to stop you from giving these tools a legitimate try. Go for it anyway! You may surprise yourself with what you are able to experience and achieve.

How will you incorporate these tools into your life today?

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How Successful People Make The Best Use Of Their Weekends

That old Loverboy song “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend” rings true for so many of us who give their all Monday through Friday, and just want to use Saturday and Sunday to catch up on some R&R. What a lot of us don’t realize is that spending Saturday and Sunday binge-watching Netflix or sleeping off hangovers is a complete waste of 2/7 of our life. The most successful people know that, even if they won’t be doing much “work” over the weekend, they still have to be productive if they want to stay ahead of the rest of the population. Rather than glue themselves to the couch watching reality TV all weekend, the hardest working among us choose to:

1. Plan

Successful individuals don’t go haphazardly into the weekend. They plan their day out just as they would any other. It might be a little more loosely-scheduled than a typical Tuesday, but with only so many hours in a week, successful people know they have to use all the free time they can get to accomplish the errands and tasks they need to accomplish. Without a plan, you’ll end up watching “just one more episode” of sitcom reruns before you realize it’s already 4 p.m. on Sunday.

2. Get up early

Of course it feels good to sleep in, but it feels even better to have checked some tasks off your list before anyone else around you has gotten out of bed. It’s actually quite rejuvenating to get up and moving early on days you don’t have to. Starting your Saturday off by hitting the gym or reading a book will leave you feeling more refreshed than if you wasted an extra two or three hours laying in bed staring at the ceiling.

3. Unplug

In today’s busy, interconnected world, most of us never truly leave work at work. Our phones are likely connected to our email and Twitter accounts, meaning we can be bombarded with a work-related task even after the 5 p.m. whistle blows on Friday. But even the hardest working among us need time to let work go. Laura Vanderkam, author of What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend, advocates taking a “tech Sabbath,” even for a couple hours over the weekend. Go fishing or hiking, visit a museum or library – and do so without your phone in your pocket. You’ll be amazed at how much more visceral the experience is.

4. Exercise

During the week, you probably told yourself you were going to hit the gym at least once or twice. Then, life happened. While you can’t blame yourself for neglecting the gym because you needed to pick up your kids or your wife’s car broke down, the weekend is the perfect time to make up for lost opportunities. And if you can knock it off early in the day, doing so will absolutely kickstart your day and keep you motivated and moving throughout everything else you have planned for your time off.

5. Socialize

During the week, you may not have had time to eat dinner with your kids or take them out for ice cream. Don’t be that parent that’s so addicted to work that they neglect the people they are working to support. Plan fun activities to do as a family, and don’t forget about taking your spouse out for romantic dinner dates every once in a while. Make the time to meet up with friends and connect in more ways than just text messaging each other every few weeks. After all, what’s the point of life if you can’t enjoy it with the people you love?

6. Follow passions and hobbies

Warren Buffet plays the ukelele. George W. Bush paints. Jay Leno is a car freak. Successful people use every minute of their free time doing something they love doing, because they know they’ll never get that time back. Even if your hobby requires hard work and dedication, if you’re passionate about it, you’ll still be relaxed and comfortable while working on it. Don’t waste precious time scrolling through Twitter when you could be learning a new song on piano. You never know when a simple hobby could turn into a life-long passion.

7. Embrace downtime and reflect

Of course, there are times you’ll need to sit quietly and let yourself just be. Career coach and author Roy Cohen believes meditating to be a great way to achieve peace of mind, while life coach Marsha Egan says most successful people use their downtime to reflect on their accomplishments, failures, and future plans.

8. Prepare for the week ahead

There’s a reason many people wake up in a groggy panic every single Monday morning: They haven’t mentally prepare themselves for the work week. Especially if you’ve wasted the weekend and didn’t do all of the tasks you said you were going to “when you had the time,” Monday mornings can be an incredibly stressful time. But if you’ve used your weekend wisely, and you take some time Sunday night to analyze all the errands and jobs you need to do throughout the week, you can wake up on Monday feeling ready to take on whatever gets thrown at you.

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