So, I'm 50!

Yesterday, the impulsive desire to trim my hair was so strong, cutting it too short than I planned. My hair has been a mess; I did not take care of my hair as deserved. Now, my crowning glory put me to shame for white flashes everywhere, root losing black pigment slowly turns light, amidst my resistance and to top it all, brittle.

The last event I went to a few days ago, people seemed to be looking younger as they ought to be, my eyes have noticed. During the meeting (for the future of our school), about 10 parents came to discuss what is best for the students, everyone looking younger than me as there's not much grey hair visible. I debate within myself, while tossing a glance on each, whether some of the parents are older than me thou their hair don't show the real age or was I older than most parents? Although hair is not the only indication of age, I assume, glowing skin with a smiling face can also make one look younger. The parents have even hair colors, unlike mine, salt, and pepper they call it. My hair is originally black and as time goes by, Ms. White shows up to fight with Ms. Black for the world to see. It is becoming very obvious and for health reasons, coloring becomes not an option anymore for me. With so many scary diseases resulting from chemicals, coloring hair is a goner in my vocabulary. I just have to live without it and be Au Naturalle!

Early on, coloring my hair in my early twenties and thirties seemed exciting and also go with the flow of the trend.  I have colored it red, blue, blond, brown and any other colors found on the store shelves. Isn't it fun to show up every day at work with different hair colors and styles? Most of the time, I do it myself because of money issues. I'll buy a box which includes everything that you need for coloring hair. There are times when the results are as beautiful as going to a hair salon but most time, it's not, especially when in a rush. The combination also makes the difference depending on what color comes next. I do it twice to three times a year since the gray ones blend well for there are not many then. I mean, being young does make a difference, easier to hide hair flaws by pulling it one by one as they show up to brag.

What really struck me most is when my daughter confided in me that her classmates think I am her grandmother!

She felt embarrassed, hearing from classmates talking about her grandmother who is her mother actually since I help in school for years. Is it really embarrassing? I thought to myself. Nowadays, most women's hair is either streaked, fake wig, colored or other services offered by hair salons to make someone appealing, fresh and younger and celebrity-like. I have no worry about the trend now as I am older and wiser, it's a personal choice. I feel different because of my grey hair, like an outsider of the trend.

At the age of 50, it is hard to hide the silvery shine from someone who has black hair. Should I pull all the silvers and leave the black ones? I might end up bald! Is it normal to color one's hair or is it abnormal to let hair show its true colors?

At the back of my mind, I just want to grow old in a natural way and it is embarrassing? It is hard to understand the new generation but I am open to discussion to obtain peace. So, I sat down with my daughter and explain to her what Au Naturalle is.  No pretenses, just loving myself, body, mind and soul to the max. It's about time to take a look and listen to the natural way of aging as the clock is ticking to half a century.

I do take care of my hair in a minimal way. I trim my own hair because I love to experiment with my own looks. With time going by in a flash, I have become less obsessed with taking care of my hair because my children come first.  Minimal means - shower, shampoo, a bit of coconut oil when time allows and I have no regret for one bit. As I wedge the scissor, gliding along with my long hair, bit by bit my crown of glory shaped as it should be, holding onto my pride of being Au Naturalle and smile. I'd gladly settle  myself as a grandmother for those who do not understand that being natural is aging gracefully with no fear of what the world has to say.

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