Happy Birthday To Whom?

Birthday Wishes

Special Day

Today is my birthday and it is different from the previous birthdays because of Facebook. This year, a lot of people greeted me Happy birthday in so many different ways through Facebook. Some are short, some unexpected, some wishing me my dreams come true one day, some are sent in foreign translation and some showered me with love. This year turned out to be encouraging to celebrate because there were so many wonderful greetings for my birthday.

I made a short note on my Facebook that it is my birthday today and we went to the sea to watch the lazy seal, sunbathing on the shore of Monterrey bay. Well, we did not really go but imagination will work alright to brighten up my day. Speaking of Monterrey, it is a good place to be. The weather is nice, close to nature and pleasant neighborhood.

For all the reasons to celebrate my birthday in a very unique way, I made up a list of blessings that would be enough to make it a different birthday today.

Today is another blessing of LOVE 

The love from above, unconditional, endless and boundless through eternity. The love from my family and friends whom I may not see from time to time but knowing they will be there for me when the time comes. The love that is our hearts no matter how busy and occupied are we without own problems. It is all about love, making the world go around while enjoying the ride through learning more of oneself, gradually learning to love oneself including my imperfections.

Today is another blessing of NEW LIFE 

Knowing I am alive and kicking, spend time with my family and friends who greeted me with sweet nothings on Facebook. Is it not a blessing to be able to go on the computer and put down all your thoughts and feelings? Is it not a blessing to open up one's eye, look around to admire the beauty of nature? The air I am breathing for free, the sun that shines to brighten the day with all the flowers blooming mightily and the sky so blue, soothing, peaceful enough to enlighten my soul as I journey in life.

Today is another blessing of HOPE 

Waking up, a new day, a new hope to conquer. I hope to be a better person, a better spouse, a better parent, a better businessman, a better employee and a better friend in order to give hope to those who needed it the most. Each time I struggle myself to become a better person, there is hope. It is hope that keeps me going despite all the trials and misfortune that life sometimes catches up with me.

Today is another blessing of HEALTH 

With good health, it is the most priceless treasure a man can possess. When I am healthy, my mind works well and my body too. That goes well with having a healthy emotion, a healthy physique and a working brain that is enough to keep up with the new technology.
Having a healthy life is a lot of work. I need to love myself, take care of myself and laugh at myself to keep my health up and best.

Today is another blessing of GIVING 

While it is my birthday today, it is still better to give than to receive. When my sister greets me " Happy birthday to you, dear Sis. May all your dreams and wishes come true", I responded that my dream is to see her in a graduation gown and my wish is to see her love herself more than ever. That made my birthday different. Giving myself to others, to serve with gladness and never expect anything in return. Believe me, it is a wonderful feeling...

Today is another blessing of LAUGHTER 

Laughter is the best medicine. I can't live without laughter in my life. It is a break from a hard life, a comfortable life, and a lifeless life. With laughter, all the day's hard work will be forgotten. With laughter, all the pain will be covered with a happy face. With laughter, all the anger will be replaced with a relaxed body. With laughter in life, I keep my youthfulness and age with grace.

Today is another blessing of CONTENTMENT 

For all the blessings I have received, they suffice enough to live a life full of life. Need to say more on contentment? I am off to enjoy my birthday in the peaceful silence, in one with nature and enjoying the beauty of the people around me. My family, friends and strangers who are just like me.

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Important Rituals to Do on New Year’s Eve

Most Important Rituals to Do on New Year’s Eve

With party planning and cooking you may forget to do the most important rituals on New Year’s Eve. Perhaps you don’t have any free minute to do at least one of these five rituals, but if you want the coming year to be successful and stress-free, let me help you. The beginning of the new year represents the whole year. By doing these five things, you will start the New Year on the right foot.

1. Let go of toxic people

Start the new year with letting go of toxic people. When you bring toxic people with you into the new year, chances are the coming year won’t be happy and positive. It’s hard to end a toxic relationship, especially with someone you love, but if that person makes you unhappy, there’s no sense in saving your relationship. Sometimes you should be selfish in order to be happy. Let them know that you don’t need them in your life anymore. One of the most important things to do on New Year’s Eve is to make a list of all toxic people you have in your life and make sure you end all toxic relationships.

2. Forgive

On New Year’s Eve you should forgive everyone, no matter what they did to you. Whether it’s your parent, husband, child, coworker, boss or best friend, they all deserve your forgiveness. You will feel much better once you forgive them. Remember no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Just say, ‘I forgive everyone’, and see how you’ll feel. Anger and hatred are dangerous feelings that can ruin the life of the happiest person in the world. Don’t start the new year with these feelings. Keep a positive attitude and don’t dwell on past mistakes. If needed, you should also forgive yourself. Again, no one is perfect, so if you made lots of mistakes this year, forgive yourself and start thinking about your goals to achieve in the new year.

3. Make a list of the most crucial goals

Before ringing in the new year, you should set your goals for 2015. On New Year’s Even, write down the most crucial goals you want to reach in 2015, but make sure that your goals are achievable. Once you set your goals, make a plan for achieving them. This way, you will become happier and more successful in 2015 because you will know what you want and what you should do.

4. Create your budget for the next year

This step may take a lot of time on New Year’s Eve, but it’s a good sign to create a budget before ringing in the new year. The thing is, when you have a well planned budget for the next year, it can help you achieve most of your financial goals easier and faster. Consider investing some money in improving your knowledge and skills and think about the ways to make some extra money. You should also set money-savings goals for 2015 and make a plan for reaching them.

5. Give money away

It’s always a good idea to help people in need, but by giving money away on New Year’s Eve you will attract financial prosperity as well. Make a donation to shelters, give some money to homeless people, or feed stray animals on New Year’s Eve. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Remember even one dollar can make a big difference. When you spend your money on good deeds, you attract even more money. Sure, you can help others every day, not only before the new year.

There are a few other rituals we should do on New Year’s Eve in order to have a better new year. However, I believe that these are the most important ones. What do you think? What rituals do you do on New Year’s Eve. Please, let me know!

                                       Thanks for your visit

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Ways To Raise Kids Who Love And Care For Each Other

13 Ways To Raise Kids Who Love And Care For Each Other

If you have kids, then you know that the fighting between them can seem endless. And while it may drive us parents crazy, it’s actually quite normal and healthy for siblings to fight. However, where is the line between ‘normal’ and ‘not normal’? How can you be assured that your kids will grow up and eventually get along? Here are 13 ways to raise kids who love and care for each other:

1. Start early – make good relationships a priority.

Even if you have teenagers, it’s not too late. However, if you have babies, toddlers, or younger children, you’re in luck. You have a wonderful opportunity to start early. Make sure you teach them the importance of getting along and being kind to one another. Model that behavior yourself, too.

2. Teach them to have a ‘We mentality,’ not a ‘Me mentality.’

Let’s face it – human beings are inherently selfish. It’s pretty much a survival mechanism. So what parents have to do is to socialize their kids out of the ‘Me mentality.’ Tell your kids that they are a team. In fact, the whole family is a team. Everyone’s actions affect everyone else’s. If you remind them enough times, it will eventually sink in.

3. Demonstrate and teach positive ways to work through arguments.

First, look at yourself. How do you work through conflict with other people (especially the other parent)? Do you yell and scream at each other? Or do you sit down peacefully and work out your problems in a rational manner? Hopefully, it’s the latter. But if not, you need to start by working on yourconflict skills. Once you have learned how to work through arguments yourself, you can teach your kids to do the same. Sit down with them and talk them through the process. Teach them that there are positive ways to ‘fight.’

4. Recognize and encourage all children when one of them accomplishes something.

Maybe Johnny won a basketball championship. Or perhaps Jane brought home straight A’s all year. Whatever it is, make sure that you celebrate all accomplishments. Have the kids congratulate each other. And even if one or more of the kids isn’t accomplishing as much as another sibling, you can still be positive and encourage them to try their best – and tell them that you are proud of all of them. They are all unique.

5. Teach them to respect each other’s personal space and possessions.

Personal boundaries are important to many people. And when boundaries are crossed, usually a conflict ensues. Teach your children that sometimes people just need to be alone. And if they want to borrow a toy or another possession, they should ask permission. They should not just ‘take’ from another person and assume that everything will be okay.

6. Show how to give and receive an apology.

I’m sure we’ve all seen pathetic apologies from our kids many times. I know I have. You know the one: where they roll their eyes and mumble that they’re sorry. Make them look at each other in the eyes, speak clearly, and say, “I’m sorry,” over and over until you think they sound like the mean it. Then tell them that it’s easy to say those words, but when someone is reallysorry, they change their behavior.

7. Consistently remind them that they are not the center of the universe.

Unfortunately, many adults don’t even know this. But if you teach your kids this simple fact early, it will help them get along. Everything will not always go your way. Sometimes you have to compromise. See #2 again about developing a ‘We mentality.’

8. Model good behavior yourself.

When I teach my communication classes and workshops, I always tell my audience to take a good, long, hard look at themselves. You can’t change what you don’t recognize. So you might want your kids to get along and love each other more, but if you are not showing them how to do it through your own actions, then they will never learn. Children model behavior more than they listen to your words.

9. Never speak poorly of anyone in the family.

If you’re angry at your spouse, that’s understandable. It happens all the time. But if you go around and say negative things about him or her to your children, then that will teach them that it’s alright to badmouth people. Make sure your words about everyone are positive. Even if you’re pointing out something that needs to be changed, you can say, “I know you can do better.” Never, ever, model bad or critical language in front of your children.

10. Have them buy each other birthday and Christmas presents.

Sure, it makes more work for you to drive them around and pay for the presents. But it tells them that it is important to remember their siblings on special occasions. Christmas is not just about how many presents Santa Claus brings to you. It’s also about giving to loved ones. And so are birthdays.

11. Establish positive family dinner routines.

Having regular family dinners together helps children stay out of trouble as they grow up. It is a time for everyone to talk and communicate. So start a ritual where everyone goes around the table and says something they love and appreciate about other members of the family. That establishes the fact that everyone loves and respects everyone. Eventually, it will become a habit.

12. Have them say, “I love you,” and hug and encourage each other.

Even if you don’t come from an affectionate family, it’s never too late to start the hugs and kisses, and saying, “I love you.” Saying hello and goodbye with a hug shows that you love and respect another person. And using words of encouragement also adds to the affection that is shown.

13. Remind them that after you’re gone, they will only have each other.

I don’t mean to sound morbid, but it’s true. If you are lucky enough to follow the natural order of things, the parents usually die before the siblings do. And once the parents are gone, they will be the only ones in the family left standing. Remind them that having a sibling or siblings is a precious thing, and that there is no one else in the world who shares the same parents. It’s something that should be cherished.

As I said in the beginning, it’s never too late to start teaching your children to love and care for one another. All it takes is some conscious effort on your part. But it’s worth it.

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The Qualities Of A Muslim Husband

I am not sure how a Muslim husband should be, but this is worth reading and applies to every husband, Muslim or not.

These Should  Be The Qualities Of A Muslim Husband

1. Make your wife feel safe, does not threaten her with divorce.

2. Give sincere salaams.

3. Treat it gently, as a weaker vessel.

4. Advise her in private with the fastest time in the best way and 'climate'.

5. Be generous with her.

6. Heat the seat for her, you will warm your heart.

7. Avoid anger, do wudhu at all times.

8. Is looking good and smelling to his wife.

9. Do not be rigid or hard-hearted to her.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Yes to cuddle. Not for discussion.

12. Call your wife with the best names, nicknames, she will like to hear.

13. Take a pleasant surprise.

14. Preserve and protect the language.

15. Wait, accept and ignore its flaws.

16. Give sincere compliments.

17. Encourage her to maintain good relations with her family.

18. Contact theme of interest.

19. Compliment her for her relatives.

20. Give gifts to each other.

21. Free to the routine, surprise her.

22. Have a good opinion of each other.

23. Have good manners, forget the little things, look no defects.

24. Be patient during pregnancy.

25. Respect it by his jealousy.

26. Be humble.

27. Sacrifice your happiness for her.

28. Help at home with the housework.

29. Help her to love their relatives, however, did not try to force it.

30. Let her know that she is the ideal woman for you.

31. Remember his wife in Du'a.

32. Leave the past Allah, no basement or bring it to light.

33. Do not act like you're doing her a favor, remember that Allah is the Provider, the husband is only the carrier of living for the family.

34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not his wife.

35. Put food in the mouth of his wife.

36. Treat your wife as the most precious pearl that you want to protect.

37. Show him your smile.

38. Do not ignore the little things, deal with them before they came to be large.

39. Respect and show that you appreciate their thinking.

40. Help her find and build its internal strengths and skills.

41. Respect when she can not be in the mood for intimacy.

Keep to the Sunnah of foreplay, do not jump on it like an animal.

42. Help her to take care of children.

43. Sit down and make meals together.

44. Tell it in advance when you travel or return trip.

45. Do not leave home angry.

46. Keep the confidentiality and privacy of home.

47. Encourage each other in the worship of Allah.

48. Living with her kindness, goodness, justice, in good times and bad.

49. Show care for their health and well-being.

50. Remember you also is not perfect, so perfect -If.

51. Share your happiness and sadness with her.

52. Have mercy on their weaknesses.

53. Be strong support for her support.

The above list is a difficult task, but:

"Nothing is difficult when done to the satisfaction of Allah, and nothing is easy when done to the satisfaction of the ego." We ask Allah, the Most High, the path to success and virtue. Amen.

***From an anonymous source

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The Missing Rib

The Missing Rib

God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart. So see how a man find his rib only to find out it was a case of too little too late...

A girl in love asked her boyfriend.

Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world?

Boy: You, of course!

Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?

Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while.

However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became mundane.

All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"

The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up.

Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go." She continued, "It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."

Five years went by...

He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him.

In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met. At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.

Boy: How are you?

Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?

Boy: No.

Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.

Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good bye.

Good bye...

One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world.

Midnight, once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury. Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental. We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones. And even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done.

Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives.

Tomorrow may never come. Give and accept what you have today.

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Why Do I Have To Sit At The Back?

The Four Generations In One Car

We have a situation one day, as we were heading to a birthday party. We decided to take my SUV since there is enough room for all of us. My son will be driving and so my daughter-in-law will be in the front seat with her husband driving. The rest of us will be crammed at the back. There are six of us, me the Great grandmother, a new couple - my son and his wife, and a family of three, my granddaughter, her daughter who's 11 and a baby. I sat behind my daughter and in the middle is the baby in her car seat. Car seat nowadays are huge, enough room for an adult person to occupy. This is how we were seated, Me, baby and my granddaughter, Ana, on the same row.  The last row is where my great-granddaughter sits, all by herself, being the youngest. Well, she is not the youngest but because infants need to be safe; she ends up at the last row and the four generations in one car rolls to head to the party.  It was my cousin's birthday and whole family was there. From great grandparents to great granddaughters, you think it would be chaotic? It was and we had so much fun!

 Having four generations in one place is the best thing in the world. For a moment, I sit in a corner and watch everyone, as if watching TV for the first time; everyone has a smile on their face. The oldest and the youngest are all there, their age doesn't seem to matter. We really love parties like this because we get to know our families from the youngest to the oldest. The cake was also worth its significance, indulging our sweet tooth and there was enough for everybody. The food was fantastic and it was flowing like water or rather mud, almost dry and heavy from Enchiladas, Burrito, Arroz Caldo, and so on, it's like a mud slide but tasty without the gooey mud color. It was festive and colorful with all the flowers adorned. There was just so much food I pigged out! I should not but with all the wonderful things around me, I have no urge to resist temptation today and so I indulge to the best I can. The kids had fun with some games that the host family planned out. And there was no crying at all except for the baby which was not really happy to hear so much noise around, it's hard to sleep without being awaken by the loud laughing and screaming of the older children. The baby would drift into sleep and startled suddenly by the screaming during the game, the baby starts to fuss and cry. We solved that by putting the baby inside the room with a monitor and let the baby sleep while we continue the fun. Am sure, the baby won't miss any of that as sleep is more important at the moment.

When it was time to say goodbye, we hang out by the door, unable to just leave. It was hard but we have to leave for it will take us an hour to get to our destination. Everybody has something to bring home, there's too much extra food we'll help them eat and clean the house too, I mean the party. It was a grad day to remember.

When I was heading to the SUV I noticed that my great granddaughter was sitting in the front seat, busy with her iPod. She seems to be so Okay that she seems ready to go home. So I went to where I was sitting when we were coming and the rest goes on the second row me the baby and my granddaughter. Now, my son was already in the driver side but my daughter was still inside the host family's house. So we waited and waited until she came out of the house. Then realize; that somebody was sitting in her seat. So I said now where is Maria going to sit? I say it loud to get my great granddaughter's attention but she didn't even budge. She was so busy with her iPod that she couldn't even hear us talking about the seat. Nobody said a word to her as I waited for any reaction. I waited and waited; hoping somebody would tell her to go back to her seat. It did not happened! I decided to speak up. Ana, you might want to go back to your seat at the back so your mom can sit in the front seat. And she blurted out right there why do I have to sit at the back all the time?

I began to wonder if she heard me earlier but didn't want to give up the front seat. I was shocked but everybody agreed to silence, nobody said a word I waited again. I waited if somebody would speak up. I was hoping to hear from her mother, yet deafening silence is all I hear.

As I was the oldest in the company, I decided to tell her in a calmly manner: Since you are the smallest, that place is perfect for you.

And I waited again,  if she would move and go back to her spot. Well, she did but with a pouty mouth. So we went home in silence and I was thinking how in the world did that happen?

It is time to have a talk with everyone. From my understanding, everybody was sympathetic to her having lost her dad. Yes, she lost her dad and it was heartbreaking for a child. I understand that. But that doesn't change the fact that she has a mother, grandmother, uncle, aunts, cousin and all the relatives in her life. She needs to learn to know her place. As a child, she needs to understand that losing a father is not losing her life. Yes, a part is lost but a part is still there - her mom.

We had a talk after we got home. I invited them inside my house and sit down to chat about it. We agreed from now on, we keep her dad alive in us so she won't miss him that much. We told her about how we miss her dad too but there is always tomorrow to look forward and someday, the pain of losing someone you love will eventually be an instrument to be a better person for the love of someone you lost.

I am relieved after the talk for she came forward and gave me a hug. As she hugged me tight, she said: Grandma, you are right. I still have daddy in me. See, I look like him. Thank you for your love. 

Win Within

I want to win everyday. I want to feel like a winner everyday. I want to see myself win everyday. I want to feel the triumph within with winning. That no matter how bad the situation is around me, winning is still possible for I am created perfectly with a will to live, to win, to acquire life by adapting to change. My motto is - To win within me by believing in me. Sorrow not when defeated for it is wisdom to see the effect of losing. Instead, challenge within self to do better next time. 

To win even after a defeat for it is a wisdom learned and a chance to be better next time. Everyday, I fill myself with words of wisdom and encouragement, building within myself a winner. I am simply ready to meet the changing conditions of this generation to win and survived any loss everyday with growing maturity within. I firmly believe that the people on earth are the by-product of a naturally selected community of winners. In my family's blood, there is accumulation of will to win and we are winners in the end. We win because we chose to win and dare to challenge our self with hardwork and determination. We win because we believe to be winners. We win because we love to  learn everyday. We win because we can do any task, big and small. We are capable to win and so we win. I am a winner!!!

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A Note From My Son

Okay, so this is what happened and I’m sure most of you will be able to relate to my experience. At least once in your lifetime you lost something. Well, car key to be specific as it is one of the top objects that a person loses. We drive the car to and from work every day and a car key make a car go places.   I lost my car keys yesterday. I search everywhere, every room, every purse and every place else I believe the key would be. I must have searched the whole house in random but no key was found. I went crazy searching for my car key yesterday until I gave up. My family knew I was looking for my lost car key because I was moving everything in search for my car key. I must have panicked or is it just part of senior moment? You know, when you are aging and you don’t want to get there, yet it is unstoppable because no matter how you try to escape, it would still come and catch up with you? I did not take time to think and retrace back where I went. I just search and searched like it is the only way to find my key which leads to being tired and hopeless, finally giving up thinking it might be best to just get a new key made.  That was my plan for tomorrow for it was near the time for bed. All the searching had made me tired, I just want to slump and enjoy the night, even for just one night.

When I woke up this morning, my thoughts were “my car keys”. I reminded myself to never forget the car keys. As I look up, something was different thou I couldn’t tell at first. Maybe I’m still sleepy, tired from search activity last night. As I focus on what is different, something on the wall is unusual. A note attached on my headboard. It was in bold letter. “Found your car key this morning before heading for school. Drive safely. Your son, Ken”.  The note has a key clinging on the bottom. My son found my car keys! I have my day off today and my son has to go to school early, riding with his dad, they did not even bother to wake me up. That was so nice of my husband and my children. I woke up with a pleasant morning surprise for my car key was right in front of me. Such a wonderful day to share…

That night, I ask my son where he found it and you guess where? The first place to look for – the garage, where the car parks at night. I must have missed it!

I will keep this note for time will come when I will need this note to brighten my day as age catch up with me.

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Brother and Sister Love

I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day after day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.

One day, I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father’s drawer. Father discovered about the stolen money right away.
‘Who stole the money?’ he asked my brother and me.

I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, ‘Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you both should be punished!’ Suddenly, my younger brother gripped Father’s hand and said, ‘Dad, I was the one who did it!’ He took the blame, and punishment, for me.

In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, ‘Sis, now don’t cry anymore. Everything has happened.’ I will never forget my brother’s expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did. Years went by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday.

When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central part of town. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province.
That night, Father squatted in the yard, smoking packet by packet. I could hear him ask my mother, ‘Both of our children, they have good results? Very good results?’

Mother wiped off her tears and sighed, ‘What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?’

At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of Father and said, ‘Dad, I don’t want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books.’ Father became angry.

‘Why do you have a spirit so weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your studies!’ And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money.

I stuck out my hand as gently as I could to my brother’s face, and told him, ‘A boy has to continue his study. If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing.’ I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university.

Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; ‘Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you.’ I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.

With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site, finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university. That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.

One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me, ‘There’s a villager waiting for you outside!’ Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him, ‘Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?’

He replied with a smile, ‘Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won’t they laugh at you?’

I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother’s body. And told him with a lump in my throat, ‘I don’t care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance.’

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, ‘I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. I think you should also have one.’ I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.

After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn’t want. They said once they left the village, they wouldn’t know what to do. My brother agreed with them. He said, ‘Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of Mom and Dad here.’
My husband became the directors of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the plaster cast on his leg, I grumbled, ‘Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won’t do something dangerous like that. Now look at you – you are suffering a serious injury. Why didn’t you just listen to us?’

With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, ‘Think of your brother-in-law, he just became the director. If I, being uneducated, would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?’

My husband’s eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, ‘But you lack in education only because of me!’

‘Why do you talk about the past?’ he said and then he held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.

My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, ‘Who is the one person you respect and love the most?’
Without even taking a time to think, he answered,’ My sister.’ He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. ‘When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost one of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather. She could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I lived, I would take care of my sister and would always be good to her.’

Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, ‘In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother,’ And in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.

Love and care for the one you love every single day of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.



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The fruit of SILENCE is Prayer 

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The fruit of FAITH is Love 

The fruit of LOVE is Service 

The fruit of SERVICE is Peace

The Passbook

She married him today.

At the end of the wedding party, her mother gave her a newly opened bank savings passbook, with $1000 deposited in it.

She told her, "My dear daughter, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your married life. Whenever something happy and memorable happens in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the amount. The more memorabl

e the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with your husband. When you look back after years, you will know how much happiness you've both shared.'

She shared this with him after getting home. Both of them thought it was a great idea and couldn't wait to make the next deposit! This is what the passbook looked like after a while:

- 7 Feb: $100, his first birthday celebration after marriage

- 1 Mar: $300, she gets a salary raise

- 20 Mar: $200, vacation to Bali

- 15 Apr: $2000, She's pregnant!

- 1 Jun: $1000, He gets the big promotion

and so on...

However, as the years went by, they began fighting and arguing over trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty person in the world...There was no more love.

One day she talked to her Mother. 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We have decided to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!'

Her mother replied, 'Sure, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want, if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing. Remember the savings passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

She agreed with her. So she went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to her. Her eyes were filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she got home, she handed the passbook to him and asked him to spend the money before getting divorced.

So the next day, he went to the bank, and was waiting in the queue to cancel the account. While he was waiting, he took a look at the passbook record. He looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joyful moments came back to him. His eyes were filled with tears. He left and went home.

He gave the passbook back to her. She found a new deposit of $5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I realized how much I've loved you throughout all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back into the safe.

If you like this story then from now on give a print out of this story to every couple who is getting married along with a nice notebook to record their happy times...who know you may just be able to help them !!

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The fruit of SILENCE is Prayer 

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The fruit of FAITH is Love 

The fruit of LOVE is Service 

The fruit of SERVICE is Peace

Generation Gap

One evening a son was talking to his father about current events. He asked what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age and just things in general. 

The dad replied,” Well, let me think a minute…I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ball point pens. Man had not invented pantyhose, dishwasher, clothes dryers, (clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air) electric blankets, air conditioners, and he hadn’t walked on the moon.

Your mom and I got married first – and then lived together. Every family has a father and a mother and every boy over 14 had a rifle that his dad taught him how to use with respect. And they went hunting and fishing together. Until I was 25, I called every man older than I , “Sir” – and after I turned 25, I still call the policemen and every man with a title “ Sir”. 

Sundays were set aside for going to church as a family; helping those who are in need, and visiting with family and neighbors (I miss that most). We were before computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility of our actions. Serving your country was a privilege, living here was a bigger privilege. 

We thought fast food was what people ate during lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends – not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD’s, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the Presidents speeches in our radio. And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. 

If you saw anything with “Made in Japan” on it, it was junk. The term “making out” referred to how you did on your exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 & 10 cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad because gas was 1 cents a gallon. 

In my day, “grass” was mowed, “coke” was a cold drink, “pot” was something mother cooked in and “rock music” was your grandmother’s lullaby. “Aids” were helpers in the Principals office, “chip” meant a piece of wood, “hardware” was found in the hardware store, and “software” wasn’t even a word. And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is a generation gap. And I am only 55 years old….

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The fruit of SILENCE is Prayer 

The fruit of PRAYER is Faith 

The fruit of FAITH is Love 

The fruit of LOVE is Service 

The fruit of SERVICE is Peace