Why Do I Have To Sit At The Back?

The Four Generations In One Car

We have a situation one day, as we were heading to a birthday party. We decided to take my SUV since there is enough room for all of us. My son will be driving and so my daughter-in-law will be in the front seat with her husband driving. The rest of us will be crammed at the back. There are six of us, me the Great grandmother, a new couple - my son and his wife, and a family of three, my granddaughter, her daughter who's 11 and a baby. I sat behind my daughter and in the middle is the baby in her car seat. Car seat nowadays are huge, enough room for an adult person to occupy. This is how we were seated, Me, baby and my granddaughter, Ana, on the same row.  The last row is where my great-granddaughter sits, all by herself, being the youngest. Well, she is not the youngest but because infants need to be safe; she ends up at the last row and the four generations in one car rolls to head to the party.  It was my cousin's birthday and whole family was there. From great grandparents to great granddaughters, you think it would be chaotic? It was and we had so much fun!

 Having four generations in one place is the best thing in the world. For a moment, I sit in a corner and watch everyone, as if watching TV for the first time; everyone has a smile on their face. The oldest and the youngest are all there, their age doesn't seem to matter. We really love parties like this because we get to know our families from the youngest to the oldest. The cake was also worth its significance, indulging our sweet tooth and there was enough for everybody. The food was fantastic and it was flowing like water or rather mud, almost dry and heavy from Enchiladas, Burrito, Arroz Caldo, and so on, it's like a mud slide but tasty without the gooey mud color. It was festive and colorful with all the flowers adorned. There was just so much food I pigged out! I should not but with all the wonderful things around me, I have no urge to resist temptation today and so I indulge to the best I can. The kids had fun with some games that the host family planned out. And there was no crying at all except for the baby which was not really happy to hear so much noise around, it's hard to sleep without being awaken by the loud laughing and screaming of the older children. The baby would drift into sleep and startled suddenly by the screaming during the game, the baby starts to fuss and cry. We solved that by putting the baby inside the room with a monitor and let the baby sleep while we continue the fun. Am sure, the baby won't miss any of that as sleep is more important at the moment.

When it was time to say goodbye, we hang out by the door, unable to just leave. It was hard but we have to leave for it will take us an hour to get to our destination. Everybody has something to bring home, there's too much extra food we'll help them eat and clean the house too, I mean the party. It was a grad day to remember.

When I was heading to the SUV I noticed that my great granddaughter was sitting in the front seat, busy with her iPod. She seems to be so Okay that she seems ready to go home. So I went to where I was sitting when we were coming and the rest goes on the second row me the baby and my granddaughter. Now, my son was already in the driver side but my daughter was still inside the host family's house. So we waited and waited until she came out of the house. Then realize; that somebody was sitting in her seat. So I said now where is Maria going to sit? I say it loud to get my great granddaughter's attention but she didn't even budge. She was so busy with her iPod that she couldn't even hear us talking about the seat. Nobody said a word to her as I waited for any reaction. I waited and waited; hoping somebody would tell her to go back to her seat. It did not happened! I decided to speak up. Ana, you might want to go back to your seat at the back so your mom can sit in the front seat. And she blurted out right there why do I have to sit at the back all the time?

I began to wonder if she heard me earlier but didn't want to give up the front seat. I was shocked but everybody agreed to silence, nobody said a word I waited again. I waited if somebody would speak up. I was hoping to hear from her mother, yet deafening silence is all I hear.

As I was the oldest in the company, I decided to tell her in a calmly manner: Since you are the smallest, that place is perfect for you.

And I waited again,  if she would move and go back to her spot. Well, she did but with a pouty mouth. So we went home in silence and I was thinking how in the world did that happen?

It is time to have a talk with everyone. From my understanding, everybody was sympathetic to her having lost her dad. Yes, she lost her dad and it was heartbreaking for a child. I understand that. But that doesn't change the fact that she has a mother, grandmother, uncle, aunts, cousin and all the relatives in her life. She needs to learn to know her place. As a child, she needs to understand that losing a father is not losing her life. Yes, a part is lost but a part is still there - her mom.

We had a talk after we got home. I invited them inside my house and sit down to chat about it. We agreed from now on, we keep her dad alive in us so she won't miss him that much. We told her about how we miss her dad too but there is always tomorrow to look forward and someday, the pain of losing someone you love will eventually be an instrument to be a better person for the love of someone you lost.

I am relieved after the talk for she came forward and gave me a hug. As she hugged me tight, she said: Grandma, you are right. I still have daddy in me. See, I look like him. Thank you for your love.