Cafeteria Humor

Kids were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples, fresh and tempting to all the hungry kids in line for lunch. One of the nuns posted a big note by the piles of apples to remind the kids  - one for each.

Down along the lunch line, at the other end of the table, a large stack of chocolate chip cookies. One  bright child who loves cookies, wrote a note :

Enjoy!

Keep Pumpkin Stay Fresh Longer

I WISH I WOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS YEARS AGO!!!!! ! AWESOME!!!!!!! 

♥♥♥♥SHARE♥♥♥SHARE♥♥♥SHARE♥♥♥SHARE♥♥♥SHARE♥♥♥SHARE♥♥♥♥ With Halloween coming up, share this to your page so you can remember to do this!

After you scoop out and carve your pumpkin, dip it in a large container of bleach and water (use a 1 tsp:1 gal mix). The bleach will kill bacteria and help your pumpkin stay fresh longer. Once completely dry, (drain upside down), add 2 tablespoon of vinegar and 1 teaspoon of lemon juice to a quart of water. Brush this solution onto your pumpkin to keep it looking fresh for weeks.” 

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Just For Laughs

JUST FOR LAUGHS

The Woodpecker Might have to go! May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door Don't take life so seriously! DANCE  KISS A LOT!  RELAX IN NATURE HAVE FUN  AND BE HAPPY!!!! Make sure you scroll all the way down and read what is written.  Today is International Disturbed People's Day Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... Just as I've done. I don't care if you lick windows, Take the special bus Or occasionally pee on yourself.. You hang in there sunshine, you're special.  Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back.. Today's Message of the Day is: Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile. Send to all the people you care for and don't want to lose in 2013, even me. If you get 3 back, you are a great friend.

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Catholic Humor

A farmer lived alone outside of Dublin except for a pet dog he loved very much.  The dog's name is Pug.  One day, Pug died. The farmer was so distraught, knowing he would be missing Pug. He has been a good dog to him, loyal and the only friend he had for years. So, he seek advise from the parish priest, inquire about a proper burial for Pug.  The farmer told the priest about Pug, saying: "Father Murri, my dog has died. Could you possibly schedule a funeral for the poor animal that I love so much?"

The priest told the farmer: "No, we can't have services for the dog in the church but I tell you what, there's a new denomination about a mile up the road and there is no telling what they believe and maybe they'll do something for your dog".

The farmer said: "I'll go right now.  By the way, do you think $10,000 is enough to donate for the service?"

 he priest replied: "Why didn't you tell me your dog was Catholic?"