Catholic Humor

A farmer lived alone outside of Dublin except for a pet dog he loved very much.  The dog's name is Pug.  One day, Pug died. The farmer was so distraught, knowing he would be missing Pug. He has been a good dog to him, loyal and the only friend he had for years. So, he seek advise from the parish priest, inquire about a proper burial for Pug.  The farmer told the priest about Pug, saying: "Father Murri, my dog has died. Could you possibly schedule a funeral for the poor animal that I love so much?"

The priest told the farmer: "No, we can't have services for the dog in the church but I tell you what, there's a new denomination about a mile up the road and there is no telling what they believe and maybe they'll do something for your dog".

The farmer said: "I'll go right now.  By the way, do you think $10,000 is enough to donate for the service?"

 he priest replied: "Why didn't you tell me your dog was Catholic?"

Little Billy

Little Billy desperately wanted a bike for Christmas, so his mother told him to pray to the Blessed Virgin Mary for help. Billy prayed and prayed, but on Christmas morning – no bike and the same thing on his birthday – prayer after prayer, but still no bike. Finally, in desperation, Billy walks over to the church and from a small alcove in the church, takes down a small statue of the Virgin Mary, hides it carefully under his coat, leaves church and walks home. Going upstairs, he takes the statue from under his coat, and places it in the very back corner of his closet, and hide it with blankets. That night, still thinking about the new bike, Billy gets on his knees to say his prayers and says, “OK God, if you ever want to see your mother again…”

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