What Is a True Friend?

The definition of a friend has changed in today’s technologically connected world. Today we may think we have many “friends.” It is true: we do enjoy the ability to be informed and to stay current with what is happening in the lives of many of our acquaintances as well as current and former friends and even people we have not met personally whom we call our friends.Sometimes our preoccupation is on havingfriends. Perhaps we should focus on being a friend.

In the context of social media, the term “friend” is often used to describecontacts rather than relationships. You have the ability to send your “friends” a message, but this is not the same thing as having a relationship with a person one on one.

Sometimes our preoccupation is on having friends. Perhaps we should focus on being a friend.

There are many definitions of what it means to be a friend. I will never forget hearing Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles speak about what it means to be a friend and the powerful influence of friends in our lives. His definition has had lasting impact in my life. He said, “Friends are people who make it easier to live the gospel of Jesus Christ.” In this sense, seeking another person’s highest good is the essence of true friendship. It is putting someone else first. It is being strictly honest, loyal, and chaste in every action. Perhaps it is the wordcommitment that unlocks the real meaning of friendship.

When my daughter, Emi, was 15, she made a decision about what kind of friends she would seek. One morning I noticed her copy of the Book of Mormon opened to Alma 48. She had marked the verses that describe Captain Moroni: “Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding. … Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of Christ” (verses 11, 13). In the margin she had written, “I want to date and marry a man like Moroni.” As I watched Emi and the kind of young men she associated with and later dated when she turned 16, I could see that she was exemplifying those qualities herself and helping others live up to their identity as sons of God, priesthood holders, and future fathers and leaders.

Key Ideas about Friendship

“Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards.

“To have good friends, be a good friend. …

“As you seek to be a friend to others, do not compromise your standards.”

For the Strength of Youth(booklet, 2011), 16.

True friends influence those with whom they associate to “rise a little higher [and] be a little better.” You can help one another, particularly young men, prepare for and serve honorable missions. You can help one another remain morally clean. Your righteous influence and friendship can have an eternal effect not only on the lives of those with whom you associate but also on generations to come.

The Savior called His disciples His friends. He said:

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

“Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

“Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you” (John 15:12–15; emphasis added).

As you live and share the gospel of Jesus Christ, you will attract people to you who will want to be your friend—not just a contact on a social media site but the kind of friend the Savior exemplified by His words and His example. As you strive to be a friend to others and to let your light shine forth, your influence will bless the lives of many with whom you associate. I know that as you focus on being a friend to others, as defined by prophets and the examples in the scriptures, you will be happy and you will be an influence for good in the world and will one day receive the glorious promise mentioned in the scriptures about true friendship: “That same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory”

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Memory Of Love

Love

Every day, we at Memeoirs read and hear of more and more sweet tales of love from all over the globe. They come in different shapes and sizes and sometimes even make us shed a little tear of delight. What you see depends mainly on what you look for so look around guys and see the loveliness there is to be seen…

1. A man bought 12 flowers for his wife one day –  11 real and 1 fake. He gave her a card with the flowers which said “I will love you until the last flower dies.”

2. There was girl who loved a boy so much she said to the boy, “If I told you that I liked you, would you take it as a joke?”
The boy said, “Yes I would.”
She asked, “Why?”
The boy replied, “Because I know you don’t like me, I know you love me!”

3.  A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, he said “No”. She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever, he said “No”. Then she asked him if he would cry if she walked away, he said “No”. She had heard enough; she needed to leave.

As she walked away he grabbed her arm and told her to stay. He said “You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful. I don’t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn’t cry if you walked away, I would die.”

4. Today, when I asked my grandfather for some relationship advice, he said, “Honestly, the moment I stopped trying to find the right woman, and started trying to become the right man, your grandmother walked up to me and said, ‘Hello.’”

5. This week, after waiting for 3 days; I get to see my lover of 15 years. It’s the longest we’ve spent apart and I won’t ever let him go again.

6. We live in a small community outside of Charlotte, NC. Our community has always been very close and has always done things to help with the community. Being a single mother and after losing my job I found out what the sense of community really is and how much love your community can actually give you. All of my neighbors grouped together to have garage sales and bake sales at the church to help me with the expenses of my house payment and utilities. Eventually, I found another job, but nothing that I could do will ever be enough to express the love and gratitude that I have for my neighbors and what they did for my family and I in our time of need.

7.  I love my grandkids with all of my heart. Their grandfather has been dead for over 15 years and my grandson Alex was only 2 years old when he passed. Alex was like a son to me and we shared stories all the time, he loved to sit back and listen to me telling stories of my high school days. When I was a girl no one ever asked me to prom so I didn’t attend. My grandson was so excited about his prom, he had worked all summer to save up money to rent a limo and buy his tux. What I didn’t expect was that I would be his date. The day of the prom I found a gift box on my bed with an exquisite dress and a note. The note read, “Grandma, you are the most beautiful person that I know, and every girl deserves to go to prom, be ready by 7. Love, Alex.” The though alone brought me to tears and I had the most amazing time being my grandson's prom date. Every time I think about it, I realize how much of a special boy he is and how much I love him so.

8. Two years ago my wife slipped into a coma after being in a car accident. It was the hardest thing that I had ever been through. Every day for two years, I would go to her hospital room and sit with her, reading her news articles and telling all of the stories of our years together. Everyone had given up hope, but Janet was my whole world, and I would never give up. One night while visiting her I was playing a video of our wedding day. Slowly her eyes opened and she moved her hand. She called out my name and I squeezed her hand. She whispered into my ear, “I love you.” Weeks later she was doing great and we were sitting on the hospital bed waiting for her discharge instructions. She told me, that she remembered all of the stories that I was telling her when she was asleep; that she could hear me and that it helped her come back to me.

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Friendship Qoutes

The 30 Best Friends Quotes

Sometimes, remembering how valuable your friendships are can really help make sure the relationship doesn’t grow stale. Keep your true friends in mind as you read these quotes to see which ones relate to your friendship.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” ― A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley

“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” ― Sarah Dessen

“Silence make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say that counts.” ― Margaret Lee Runbeck

“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” ― Cicero

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”
― Bette Midler

 “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.” ― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” ― Muhammad Ali

“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.”
― Sylvia Plath

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” ― Mark Twain

“Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.” ― Richard Bach

“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” ― Jim Henson 

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” ― Linda Grayson

“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” ― Arnold H. Glasgow

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” ― Aristotle

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” ― Albert Camus

“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” ― Jay McInerney

“A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” ― Grace Pulpit

“Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.” ― Benjamin Franklin

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.” ― Elie Wiesel

 “Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” ― Ally Condie

 “True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.” ― Charles Caleb Colton

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .’” ― C. S. Lewis

“You can always tell a real friend:  when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” ― Laurence J. Peter

“Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.” ―William Shakespeare

“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” ― Marlene Dietrich 

“Friends are relatives you make for yourself.” ― Eustache Deschamps

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” ― Flavia Weedn

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Ways To Raise Kids Who Love And Care For Each Other

13 Ways To Raise Kids Who Love And Care For Each Other

If you have kids, then you know that the fighting between them can seem endless. And while it may drive us parents crazy, it’s actually quite normal and healthy for siblings to fight. However, where is the line between ‘normal’ and ‘not normal’? How can you be assured that your kids will grow up and eventually get along? Here are 13 ways to raise kids who love and care for each other:

1. Start early – make good relationships a priority.

Even if you have teenagers, it’s not too late. However, if you have babies, toddlers, or younger children, you’re in luck. You have a wonderful opportunity to start early. Make sure you teach them the importance of getting along and being kind to one another. Model that behavior yourself, too.

2. Teach them to have a ‘We mentality,’ not a ‘Me mentality.’

Let’s face it – human beings are inherently selfish. It’s pretty much a survival mechanism. So what parents have to do is to socialize their kids out of the ‘Me mentality.’ Tell your kids that they are a team. In fact, the whole family is a team. Everyone’s actions affect everyone else’s. If you remind them enough times, it will eventually sink in.

3. Demonstrate and teach positive ways to work through arguments.

First, look at yourself. How do you work through conflict with other people (especially the other parent)? Do you yell and scream at each other? Or do you sit down peacefully and work out your problems in a rational manner? Hopefully, it’s the latter. But if not, you need to start by working on yourconflict skills. Once you have learned how to work through arguments yourself, you can teach your kids to do the same. Sit down with them and talk them through the process. Teach them that there are positive ways to ‘fight.’

4. Recognize and encourage all children when one of them accomplishes something.

Maybe Johnny won a basketball championship. Or perhaps Jane brought home straight A’s all year. Whatever it is, make sure that you celebrate all accomplishments. Have the kids congratulate each other. And even if one or more of the kids isn’t accomplishing as much as another sibling, you can still be positive and encourage them to try their best – and tell them that you are proud of all of them. They are all unique.

5. Teach them to respect each other’s personal space and possessions.

Personal boundaries are important to many people. And when boundaries are crossed, usually a conflict ensues. Teach your children that sometimes people just need to be alone. And if they want to borrow a toy or another possession, they should ask permission. They should not just ‘take’ from another person and assume that everything will be okay.

6. Show how to give and receive an apology.

I’m sure we’ve all seen pathetic apologies from our kids many times. I know I have. You know the one: where they roll their eyes and mumble that they’re sorry. Make them look at each other in the eyes, speak clearly, and say, “I’m sorry,” over and over until you think they sound like the mean it. Then tell them that it’s easy to say those words, but when someone is reallysorry, they change their behavior.

7. Consistently remind them that they are not the center of the universe.

Unfortunately, many adults don’t even know this. But if you teach your kids this simple fact early, it will help them get along. Everything will not always go your way. Sometimes you have to compromise. See #2 again about developing a ‘We mentality.’

8. Model good behavior yourself.

When I teach my communication classes and workshops, I always tell my audience to take a good, long, hard look at themselves. You can’t change what you don’t recognize. So you might want your kids to get along and love each other more, but if you are not showing them how to do it through your own actions, then they will never learn. Children model behavior more than they listen to your words.

9. Never speak poorly of anyone in the family.

If you’re angry at your spouse, that’s understandable. It happens all the time. But if you go around and say negative things about him or her to your children, then that will teach them that it’s alright to badmouth people. Make sure your words about everyone are positive. Even if you’re pointing out something that needs to be changed, you can say, “I know you can do better.” Never, ever, model bad or critical language in front of your children.

10. Have them buy each other birthday and Christmas presents.

Sure, it makes more work for you to drive them around and pay for the presents. But it tells them that it is important to remember their siblings on special occasions. Christmas is not just about how many presents Santa Claus brings to you. It’s also about giving to loved ones. And so are birthdays.

11. Establish positive family dinner routines.

Having regular family dinners together helps children stay out of trouble as they grow up. It is a time for everyone to talk and communicate. So start a ritual where everyone goes around the table and says something they love and appreciate about other members of the family. That establishes the fact that everyone loves and respects everyone. Eventually, it will become a habit.

12. Have them say, “I love you,” and hug and encourage each other.

Even if you don’t come from an affectionate family, it’s never too late to start the hugs and kisses, and saying, “I love you.” Saying hello and goodbye with a hug shows that you love and respect another person. And using words of encouragement also adds to the affection that is shown.

13. Remind them that after you’re gone, they will only have each other.

I don’t mean to sound morbid, but it’s true. If you are lucky enough to follow the natural order of things, the parents usually die before the siblings do. And once the parents are gone, they will be the only ones in the family left standing. Remind them that having a sibling or siblings is a precious thing, and that there is no one else in the world who shares the same parents. It’s something that should be cherished.

As I said in the beginning, it’s never too late to start teaching your children to love and care for one another. All it takes is some conscious effort on your part. But it’s worth it.

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Surprising Ways to Show Your Love

5 Surprising Ways to Show Your Love

Want to let someone know they're loved? Try using actions, rather than words. "Love is an action verb," says Jamie Comstock, a professor of communication at Butler University in Indianapolis. "To really feel the love, the other person has to sense the message in nonverbal ways."

Here are five surprising things to know about gestures that say, "I love you" -- words optional.

1. Small weekly gifts "count" more than rare, splashy ones.

The underlying love message: "I'm committed to you."

Saving up for those pricey Valentine's roses and jewelry in a velvet box? Think twice, if it means you can't afford smaller tokens of affection the rest of the year. That's not to say flowers and jewels aren't welcome or good gifts. But grand gestures shouldn't usurp more frequent demonstrations of your love.

Frequent contact is one of the best signs of commitment, according to Comstock. "Your mom will appreciate a large box of candy on Valentine's Day, but if she doesn't hear from you again until Mother's Day, she won't sense the love in the gesture," Comstock says.

Those small gestures don't have to be store-bought tokens; they can take the form of a daily catch-up with a traveling lover, the everyday loving gestures you show a spouse -- making the bed first, bringing him coffee, scraping ice from her car in the morning -- or a weekly call to your aging parents.

2. Frequent touching speaks louder than words.

The underlying love message: "We're connected."

Whether you're hugging your dad or caressing a lover, touch telegraphs affection faster than words do. Thank your brain and your skin's abundant nerve endings for why touch feels so nice. The emotional brain "gets" touch communication more immediately than it understands words, which have to be processed first through the speech centers, says David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and author of Love Signals.

"If seeing is believing, touching is knowing," he says.

Touch comes naturally to couples falling in love but notoriously fades over time. Older adults tend to respond especially strongly to touch as a signal of love because they're often "touch deprived," says Comstock.

Counter that trend with a daily intentional hug, a shoulder squeeze, letting your knees touch as you sit opposite each other. See 9 Wordless Ways Someone Says, "I Love You".

3. Doing slightly complicated things for your loved one brings you closer.

The underlying love message: "I'm willing to put forth special effort for you."

"The more effort you put into a gesture of love, the more the recipient feels the love," Comstock says. A perception that you've gone the extra mile decreases the psychological distance between the two of you. So, for example, leaving a treasure hunt of post-it notes bearing hearts registers higher on the "you love me!" scale than a rote "I love you" verbally tacked onto the end of every phone conversation.

More examples: A carefully planned getaway weekend or scanning a lifetime of old prints into digital images. Just make sure the gesture involves planning and forethought on your part -- and that the recipient knows it wasn't contracted out to a third party (executive assistant, travel agent) to arrange.

How corny these efforts are depends on your taste and their execution. But what they have in common: a lover's effort.

4. Activities that "mirror" reinforce a common courtship behavior.

The underlying love message: "We're so in synch."

Go dancing. Take a walk together. The operative word is together. As you take a walk with a companion, for example, you tend to fall into step with each other, matching your strides, going in the same direction, seeing the same things en route. Dancing requires an even more closely matched echoing of your behaviors.

We unconsciously imitate each other when we feel close, which reinforces further closeness. Couples do this unconsciously all the time: Watch a pair who are flirting. Social scientists call this "synchrony" -- simultaneous action "“ when members of a social pair match their behaviors. "It's a strong way of being alike," Givens says.

Those who want to express love that's sure to be felt can borrow a page from the same playbook and mirror their behaviors in intentional ways.

"The more alike you are, the more you like each other," Givens says.

5. Nothing thrills like a little inside knowledge.

The underlying love message: "I know you and feel close to you."

A new shirt is nice. One that's monogrammed (for a recipient who likes them) is even better. But best of all, if you're trying to convey, "I love you": a gift that reflects that you're paying attention to the relationship.

That can mean something you made yourself just for the person, or something that reflects an inside joke or insider knowledge about the person's passions and preferences. How much you spend isn't the point here; it's how much you spend emotionally. So winning choices might include a handmade card, a CD of handpicked tunes, a framed photo of the two of you, an item that you observed the recipient coveting or needing months ago, or a scrapbook looking back on a long marriage or celebrating an older parent's life.

"The most valued gifts to a receiver are those the person knows are just for him or her," Comstock says. "If I'm debating whether to buy my dad a shirt or make him a batch of chocolate chip cookies to show my love for him, the cookies send a stronger message because I know they're his favorite thing -- and he knows I know this and did it for him. He could buy his own shirt.

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