Saturday, October 10, 2015

How to Squash Negative Thought Patterns

How to Squash Negative Thought Patterns


Suppose you have the bad habit of dwelling too much on the same negative thoughts.  And suppose there’s no outward physical manifestation associated to them.  It’s just negative thinking, like “I’m so depressed” or “I hate my job” or “I can’t do this” or “I hate being fat.”  How do you break a bad habit when it’s entirely in your mind?
There are actually quite a number of ways to decondition a negative thought pattern.  The basic idea is to replace the old pattern with a new one.  Mentally resisting the negative thought will usually backfire — you’ll simply reinforce it and make it even worse.  The more you fire those neurons in the same way, the stronger the pattern becomes.
Here’s a little method I use to break negative thought patterns.  It’s basically something I concocted from a combination of the swish pattern from NLP and a memory technique known as chaining.  I usually find the swish pattern alone to be weak and ineffective, but this method works very well for me.
Instead of trying to resist the negative thought pattern, you will redirect it.  Think of it like mental kung fu.  Take the energy of the negative thought and rechannel it into a positive thought.  With a little mental conditioning, whenever the negative thought occurs, your mind will automatically flow into the linked positive thought.  It’s similar to Pavlov’s dogs learning to salivate when the bell rang.
Here’s how it works:
Let’s assume your negative thought is subvocalization, meaning that it’s like you hear a voice in your head that says something you want to change, like, “I’m an idiot.”  If the negative thought is visual (a mental image) or kinesthetic (a gut feeling), you can use a similar process.  In many cases the thought will manifest as a combination of all three (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic).
Step 1:  Turn the negative thought into a mental image.
Take that little voice, and turn it into a corresponding mental picture.  For example, if your thought is, “I’m an idiot,” imagine yourself wearing a dunce cap, dressed very foolishly, and jumping around like a dork.  See yourself surrounded by other people all pointing at you while you shout, “I’m an idiot.”  The more you exaggerate the scene, the better.  Imagine bright colors, lots of animation, rapid movement, and even sexual imagery if it helps you remember.  Rehearse this scene over and over in your mind until you reach the point where thinking the negative thought automatically brings up this goofy imagery.
If you have trouble visualizing, you can also do the above in an auditory fashion.  Translate the negative thought into a sound, such as a jingle that you sing.  Go through the same process with sound instead of imagery.  It works either way.  I happen to prefer the visual method though.
Step 2:  Select an empowering replacement thought.
Now decide what thought you’d like to have instead of the negative one.  So if you’ve been thinking, “I’m an idiot,” maybe you’d like to replace that with “I’m brilliant.”  Choose a thought that empowers you in a way that disrupts the disempowering effect of the original negative thought.
Step 3:  Turn the positive thought into a mental image.
Now go through the same process you used in Step 1 to create a new mental scene from the positive thought.  So with the example “I’m brilliant,” you might imagine yourself standing tall, posing like Superman with your hands on your hips.  Picture a giant light bulb appearing just above your head.  The bulb turns on so bright that it’s blinding, and you see yourself yelling, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!”  Again, keep rehearsing this scene until merely thinking the positive line automatically brings up the associated imagery.
Step 4:  Mentally chain the two images together.
Now take the images in Step 1 and Step 3, and mentally glue them together.  This trick is used in memory techniques like chaining or pegging.  You want to morph the first scene into the second scene.  The NLP swish pattern would have you do a straight cut from one scene to the next, but I recommend you animate the first scene into the second.  A cut is very weak glue and often won’t stick.  So instead pretend you’re the director of a movie.  You have the opening scene and the closing scene, and you have to fill in the middle.  But you only have a few seconds of film left, so you want to find a way to make the transition happen as quickly as possible.
For example, one of the hecklers in the first scene might throw a light bulb at the idiot version of you.  The idiot you catches the bulb and screws it into the top of his head, wincing at the pain.  The bulb then grows into a giant bulb and turns on so bright it blinds all the hecklers.  You rip off your dorky clothing to reveal a shining white robe beneath it.  You stand tall like Superman and yell confidently, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!”  The hecklers fall to their knees and begin worshipping you.  Again, the more exaggeration you use, the better.  Exaggeration makes it easier to remember the scene because our brains are designed to remember the unusual.
Once you have the whole scene worked out, mentally rehearse it for speed.  Replay the whole scene over and over until you can imagine it from beginning to end in under 2 seconds, ideally in under 1 second.  It should be lightning fast, much faster than you’d see in the real world.
Step 5:  Test.
Now you need to test your mental redirect to see if it works.  It’s a lot like an HTML redirect — when you input the old negative URL, your mind should automatically redirect you to the positive one.  Merely thinking the negative thought should rapidly bring up the positive thought.  If you’ve done this correctly, you won’t be able to help it.  The negative thought is the stimulus that causes your mind to run the whole pattern automatically.  So whenever you happen to think, “I’m an idiot,” even without being fully aware of it, you end up thinking, “I’m brilliant.”
If you’ve never done visualizations like this before, it may take you several minutes or longer to go through this whole process.  Speed comes with practice.  The whole thing can literally be done in seconds once you get used to it.  Don’t let the slowness of the first time through discourage you.  This is a learnable skill like any other, and it probably will feel a bit awkward the first time.
I recommend you experiment with different types of imagery.  You’ll likely find some variations more effective than others.  Pay particular attention to association vs. dissociation.  When you’re associated in a scene, you’re imagining seeing it through your own eyes (i.e. first-person perspective).  When you’re dissociated you’re imagining seeing yourself in the scene (i.e. third-person perspective).  I usually get the best results when I dissociate in both scenes.  Your results may vary.  You may have to do some mental camera work if you switch from dissociated to associated or vice versa, but it can be done with practice.
I did a lot of this type of mental conditioning during the early 90s.  Whenever I uncovered a negative thought, I plucked it out and redirected it.  Within a few days, I had reprogrammed dozens of negative thought patterns, and pretty soon it became hard for my mind to even produce a negative thought or emotion.  Everything kept getting redirected to the positive side.  I think that’s partly why I felt so confident about starting my own business right out of college — I used mental conditioning to redirect the thoughts of self-doubt to a more can-do mindset.  I also used this a lot while in college, and I’m sure it helped me graduate faster than normal.  I still had to deal with plenty of real-world challenges, but at least I wasn’t battling my own self-doubt at the same time.
This type of mental conditioning gave me a lot more conscious control over my internal states.  Today it’s so internalized that I just do it automatically without even thinking about it.  My subconscious took over at some point, so whenever I have a thought like “I can’t,” it automatically gets twisted into “How can I?”  That’s actually supposed to happen — with enough mental conditioning practice, your subconscious will take over.  Memory experts similarly report that with practice, techniques like pegging and chaining are taken over by the subconscious, just like riding a bicycle.
Give this process a try the next time you notice yourself dwelling on a negative thought.  I think you’ll find it very empowering.  And feel free to share it with others who could use a mental pick-me-up.



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Friday, October 9, 2015

True Love


TRUE LOVE

True love
Love. Love is the greatest gift God ever gave man. Love is not wanting to go anywhere without her. Love is not caring what other people think about the two of you. Love is when you feel depressed and sickly when you're not with her. You feel like your life has no meaning or purpose without her. And that if she wasn't holding your hand you would float away to heaven from where she came. Love is caring for her physically and emotionally. It's telling her every day, anytime, anywhere, anyhow, for no just reason that you love her. Love is telling her u want to spend the rest of your life with her. Love is wanting to marry her even tho ya'll haven't been dating that long. That you would do anything and everything for her. It's the feeling that you would give up everything just to see her smile or look into her beautiful eyes or hear her soft, soothing voice. Love is pure happiness. Love is the feeling you get when all you have to do is think of her and it brings a smile to your face and a yearning to your heart. Love is not being able to think about nothing but her. Love is having the sweetest dreams about her and waking up with a smile on your face. Love is an overwhelming feeling of pure bliss when the 2 of u kiss. Love is wanting to hold her in ur arms till the end of time. Love is wishing ur time with her never ends, that your lips would be locked together forever, that she'd be in ur arms till the end of time, that u could cuddle with her for all of eternity. Love is being helplessly and deeply in love with her and knowing your love for her and your feelings for her will never change/end. Love is the world, the world is love, and she is the world to me...
Soulmate
A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness, and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.
Finding my soulmate is the best thing that has ever happened to me; I have never felt this kind of love and understanding. We connect in so many ways, it astounds me.


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Monday, October 5, 2015

How To Attract A Healthy Relationship


How to Attract a Healthy Relationship

Have you found yourself continually attracting the same kind of unhealthy person into your life, such as people who are narcissistic or emotionally unavailable? This is the situation Connie finds herself in.
"As a child of narcissists, I've struggled for decades. My attraction to men, since the age of 14, has been to narcissists and sociopaths. I thought it was love, but really I was seeking approval. I have been healing for many years, yet as a highly sensitive person with this history, I know I may always be vulnerable. The catch is evaluating someone new with a level head, and making sound decisions before falling 'blindly' in love. What are your thoughts to attract a healthy love relationship that is not based on dependency or approval?"
Many people tend to be attracted to people who are similar to one or both of their parents. Their ego wounded self says, "If I can get a person like my mom or dad to love me, then I will be okay." The problem is that there are three different lies in this statement:
  1. You can't have control over how people feel about you.
  2. People who are not loving themselves won't learn to love you, no matter how loving you think you are being with them.
  3. As an adult, you need to learn to love yourself to feel that you are okay. Others' love can help and support you in developing self-worth, but no one can do it for you.
So trying to get a narcissistic or emotionally unavailable person to love you and connect with you will always be a losing battle.
Attracting "a healthy love relationship that is not based on dependency or approval" naturally occurs as you learn to love yourself. The more you learn to love and value who you really are in your essence, the less you will find yourself attracted to people who are not loving or valuing themselves. As the Law of Attraction states, "Like attracts like," so the more you abandon yourself and then seek others' approval to feel okay, the more you attract other self-abandoning people.
Connie finds herself attracted to narcissists because she is coming from her own narcissistic wounded self. The wounded self in all of us as some degree of narcissism, which means that, when we are abandoning ourselves and are operating from our wounded self, we expect someone else to take responsibility for our feelings of worth and ability to love. When we are abandoning ourselves, we are operating from a low 'frequency,' and we attract other people who are also operating from a low frequency - i.e., the Law of Attraction.
When we practice Inner Bonding, learning to connect with our spiritual Guidance and operate as a loving adult who takes responsibility for our own feelings of self-worth, then we operate from a high frequency and we attract other high-frequency people - people who are also loving themselves and taking responsibility for their feelings and defining their own self-worth.
So I would say to Connie, "It's not about '... evaluating someone new with a level head, and making sound decisions before falling 'blindly' in love.' It's about becoming the kind of person you want to attract. The more you learn to connect with yourself and your spiritual Guidance, the quicker you can sense the frequency of another person."
When you are operating from your loving adult rather than from your wounded self, you can sense immediately whether someone is authentically open and loving, rather than acting open and loving. Narcissistic and emotionally unavailable people are adept at acting open, but there is a huge difference in frequency between genuinely open and caring people and people who have learned to act open and caring. The more open and caring you become with yourself, the easier it becomes to sense the truth about another person.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9159427

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Courageous Mom, Raising Funds

Courageous mum-of-four who lost half her face to cancer releases pictures of reconstruction surgery in a bid to raise cash for charity

HELEN Butchart's right shoulder blade was used to rebuild her face during a 22-hour operation after cancer eats into her cheekbone, palate, and eye.

A MOTHER of four who lost half her face to cancer has bravely released pictures of the reconstruction surgery in a bid to raise cash for charity.
Surgeons used Helen Butchart’s right shoulder blade to rebuild her face during a 22-hour operation.
The cancer had eaten into the 54-year-old’s cheekbone, palate, and eye – all of which had to be removed.
Now Helen, of Lochgelly, Fife, is raising funds to help the medical team who saved her life.
Yesterday, she released pictures of her progress in the days and weeks since her surgery.
Her maxillary sinus cancer was only discovered after dental treatment failed to cure her swollen face.
Helen, who has run her own flower shop for 17 years, was treated with antibiotics and had three teeth taken out. Still, in pain, she was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year.
She said: “The tumor had eaten into my right cheekbone, right eye, and palate. I was in great pain by the beginning of February and was on morphine day and night.”
Helen had her life-changing operation at Glasgow’s Southern General Hospital on February 17.
Surgeons cut out cancer and reconstructed her face.
Helen said: “They had to create a new cheekbone and palate – my right shoulder blade was used to do this.
“The skin on my face had stretched too much and was so thin they had to give me a flap.
“They also removed lymph nodes on the right-hand side.”
She added: “This is the second last day of radiotherapy, so I’m relieved about that. It’s difficult to speak at the moment because of ulcers in my throat.”
Incredibly, she was back home within 10 days.
The pictures were taken at 10 days, three weeks, and five weeks after the operation.
They show the right side of Helen’s face still swollen and covered with a thick skin graft. A jagged purple scar runs across where her right eye used to be.
Helen posted them to her Facebook and Just Giving fundraising page. Pals were quick to praise her.
Gordon Wilson wrote: “Geezus, you always had the X factor gal. You have taken things to another level this time and rose to it.
“Anyone who ain’t feeling emotion reading the above posts just ain’t human. X is for kisses aplenty but in your case, it’s sheer guts.”
Helen’s sister Janice Macrimmon wrote: “From the day you were told about the tumor you have
demonstrated strength like no other. You have faced every step with courage and humor – it wouldn’t be you if there wasn’t a smile and a joke involved.
“I, as your big sister, feel immensely proud to call you my wee sister, keep up the good work pal.”
She also praised Helen’s husband, John, saying: “John Butchart needs a special mention here as I am so proud of you, John – you are a rock.”
Helen’s niece wrote: “Aunty Helen, you are the bravest woman I know and a true inspiration to everyone.”
Helen said: “I have nothing but praise and respect for the surgeons who helped me at that difficult time.”
She wants to raise money for the NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde Endowments fund. It pays for extra equipment, research, training, and patient comfort.
Last night, Helen had made more than £8800 for the fund. She said: “I have been overwhelmed by the generosity and support given by local communities. It’s great how everyone pulls together.”

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7 Amazing Benefits of Being Optimistic about Life

7 Amazing Benefits of Being Optimistic about Life

Amazing Benefits of Being Optimistic about Life
Nowadays we live in a harsh world full of troubles, grief and negative news. If to treat everything seriously, you may realize that everything is falling apart. People are surrounded by hatred, fear, and greed. But there are many opposite and wonderful things that keep balance in this world. If you want to be on the positive wave, you should try to spread love, inspiration and joy in life. Moreover, optimistic people tend to experience more pleasant emotions and moments than pessimists, because optimism makes your reality colorful. Even when you go through tough times and feel downhearted, you should find the reasons to be optimistic about life.
Troubles and life challenges are just an experience that teaches you to be more reasonable and versed in the same situations in the future. You should be grateful for this life experience because it is a chance for you to become skillful in various spheres of life. Check out a few amazing benefits of being optimistic about life.

1. Optimism provides improvement

Optimism has always been the basic element of financial and professional success and improvement. I’m sure that optimists always have more room and chances for improvement than pessimists. Optimists usually don’t mull over their problems and they try to handle the situation faster because they have a large circle of friends and acquaintances. Furthermore, it is extremely important to believe that the situation will get better by all means. All you need is to be confident and make an effort to change the situation for the better.

2. Many things to enjoy

Have you ever tried to notice something simple but beautiful around you? Unfortunately, people have already got used to seeing only negative things since they can easily attract people’s attention. Open your eyes and look around you. You’ll find a great number of wondrous things to enjoy. It’s not necessary to be a millionaire to reach this joy. Many simple pleasures are priceless because you cannot buy a magnificent smile of your child or the moments of happiness spent together with your best friend. Life is a wonderful thing!
Read also – 10 Excuses That Are Keeping You from Reaching Your Goals

3. Positive moments in your life

I think that almost every person has something wonderful and pleasant in their life. When you have to overcome serious barriers, you should try to develop a positive outlook. You need to be proud of your family, friends, hobbies, interesting job and other majestic moments that you find insignificant in your life. Grab some paper and write down all your positive traits and life achievements. You will understand that things aren’t as bad as you think.

4. It’s good medicine for tough times

Every optimist knows that both tough and great times won’t last forever. They are ready to deal with various challenges. Many optimists live by the one-day principle that helps them to protect themselves from anxiety and worries about the past and future. It’s desirable to be patient and soon you’ll notice that being optimistic will pay off. For the typical optimist, a small obstacle on the path to the aim is a kind of opportunity, but not a burden.

5. Longer life

According to numerous scientific researches, optimists succeed in maintaining health and youth. Positive thinking and attitude increase the body’s defense level and make it stronger. The harmony of the soul is the best defense against negative things and diseases. Optimism is the best way to deal with stress. Constant anxiety and stress are so dangerous for your body and your mind. It will help you live longer and enjoy every moment of your life. If you want to improve the quality and increase the duration of life, then replace your pessimism with optimism.

6. The power of positive thinking

Many optimistic people find positive thinking extremely effective in achieving their goals. It also helps you remain in a good mood. Positive thinking also affects your senses and helps you focus on the main aspects of life. Consequently, you will make it a habit to look for the positive side of everything. You will learn how to notice all possible benefits around you. If you convince yourself that you can get or do what you want, you will certainly succeed in everything.
Read also – 7 Undeniable Reasons to Focus on Making Yourself Happy

7. It’s the key to your success

Optimists are people who always act instead of waiting for the miracle to happen. Those people who take small steps have more opportunities to reach their goals. You should realize that crying from the negative realities of life doesn’t bring results. Constant motion and an optimistic state of mind will open the door to your success. An optimist often sees a challenge as an experience. This strategy focuses their attention on a positive outcome.
It’s a great miracle to be a “glass half full” person in this difficult world. It doesn’t mean that you should always be happy, because life isn’t a bed of roses. Stephen King once said a true thing, “There’s no harm in hoping for the best as long as you are prepared for the worst.” Are you an optimist? Does positive attitude help you cope with life challenges?

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